


over the oaks

by owlishann



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Bookseller Yuuri, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Space Creature, Spaceships, Time Travel, Viktuuri Angst Bang 2019, Yuuri POV, Yuuri is unreliable af as a narrator, a bit of terror, a lot of angst i'm sorry, anxious yuuri, but there's a lot of fluff to compensate, dealing with loss and guilt, don't worry about that because i swear everybody is alive and happy at the end!!, gallery owner victor, space, spacetrip, that part will be rough i'm sorry, there's no major character death but for a while it looks like it!, year is 2516 btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlishann/pseuds/owlishann
Summary: Books have always called Yuuri, ever since he was a child. So when he gets the chance to answer the call, he does, even if it implies crossing the milky way in a tiny spaceship with Victor Nikiforov —the man Yuuri has been pining after since they met— by his side.But a spaceship is not only a vehicle, it can be a prison too (especially if the thing you're running away from is trapped inside it as well)





	1. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello?!?!??! I-I'm biting all my nails and pulling all my hair because the time has come, the time to start posting my angst bang fic aka dramafic *sweeps away sweat from her forehead*. I've been working on this since... april, so it's kind of my baby now.
> 
> First of all and before anything else, please, read the tags! There's some heavy heavy angst before we reach the happy ending, so please, beware!! I'll keep adding tags and warning in the corresponding chapter. This chapter is soft and cute, though <3
> 
> Most of this story takes place in a spaceship and I know barely nothing about the space and spaceships. I've done my best to do some research, but I probably got some things wrong and I know as well that I've taken a lot of creative freedom because I could've collapsed if not. I'll leave you to the chapter now!

Monday mornings in Detroit are slow and lazy. Yuuri wakes up at seven thirty in the morning, takes a _ slow _shower and has a quick breakfast before he heads for work. He doesn’t really wake up until nine thirty, when he is already sitting behind the countertop of his and Phichit’s bookshop and Phichit brings him a cup of coffee from the nearest cafeteria.

That’s when Yuuri really wakes up.

It’s not nine thirty yet, though. Yuuri is sitting on a wooden stool, elbows resting on the countertop in front of him and head on his right hand. He runs his eyes over the shelves, observes the spines of the numerous books resting before him, waiting to be opened, smelt, read. He has held almost every single one of them at some point, probably more than once. They fill the shop with that aroma that has almost turned into Yuuri’s signature, mixed with that subtle smell of old wood.

Yuuri closes his eyes and breathes in, letting the calm seep through him before any intrusive morning thought strikes him. The sunbeams filtering through the window, shining directly on Yuuri, and the bird chirping outside end up inducing him to a state of half sleepiness, almost balancing precariously on the stool, but never falling.

“Bad night?” a voice whispers close to his right ear. Yuuri opens his eyes in surprise, loses his balance and falls ungraciously to the floor. Still in a haze, he can’t really register any pain nor remember if he heard the doorbell, but he does register a pair of blue eyes staring worriedly at him.

“Oh my god, Yuuri. I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were really sleeping!”

Strong hands help him up until he is sitting on the floor. He blinks as he looks at the person crouching by his side, relentlessly checking that he is fine.

“Victor?” Victor stills and looks at Yuuri with a worried expression. Yuuri can do nothing to hide the pink dusting his cheeks. “I-I’m fine! Don’t worry.”

“But Yuuri!” he pouts as he emphasizes the us in Yuuri’s name. He lays his hands on top of his shoulders. “It was my fault. I have the right to worry.”

Yuuri gulps as he feels how warm Victor’s hand are on his even though the fabric of his t-shirt is in between. He looks to his own hands instead.

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Yuuri! You wound me!” Victor does a dramatic flip of fringe and places a hand above his heart. He stands up. “Am I not allowed to visit my favourite bookseller?”

“Favourite bookseller, huh?” He raises an arm in invitation for Victor to help him up. Victor takes it without hesitation. “I’ll let Christophe know.”

“You wouldn’t betray me like that.”

“Try me.”

Once he’s up and Victor lets him go, Victor stares at him with his head a bit tipped and a hand on his chin, gaze intense.

“So mean, Yuuri. So mean.”

Yuuri and Victor had met a few months before, in an event Victor had organized in his gallery. Victor was the owner of the _ Stammi Vicino Gallery _, a prestigious gallery where he organized monthly exhibitions of every kind of piece worth exhibiting, not only art. Somehow, Phichit had got them both access to the opening event of that month exhibition. Somehow, as well, Yuuri had got a little bit champagne wasted and had ended up trying to convince Victor of organizing a first-edition books exhibition.

Because Yuuri and Phichit were not only booksellers, they were also book collectors, and a considerable corner of their bookshop was composed by a lot of first or renowned editions.

The morning after the party, Victor was the first client to enter the shop and Yuuri —with a curious hangover and vague memories from the event— couldn’t even pretend he knew what they were talking about. Their deal was almost immediate, though, and soon they were working together on a full-month exhibition on first-edition 23th century Japanese poetry books.

Professionally, that meant a lot of calls, meetings, budget and equipment arrangements and planning, a lot of planning. Victor soon became a presence in the bookshop as much as Yuuri and Phichit —maybe Yuuri more than Phichit— became a presence in the gallery.

That also came with a lot of personal implications. For example, the fact that Yuuri had got used to that quickly, too quickly if asked. He got used to Victor’s heart-shaped smile whenever he was happy, to his soft cooing whenever they saw a dog on the street. To the hue of his eyes and how different they looked depending on the light and Victor’s mood.

Every hour Yuuri spent with Victor, he would find something new to admire.

And that was precisely the problem. His feelings for Victor were growing quickly and there was nothing assuring him that, the moment the exhibition was over, Victor’s presence in the bookshop and in his life would fade. There was nothing assuring him that their meetings were not something temporary, something that came with an end date and stuck merely to the professional, like a temporary working contract.

And Yuuri knew that he had something more than a crush on Victor, but was too afraid to confess or even ask Victor how he felt about him. He chose then the Yuuri’s way —Phichit’s less favourite one— and decided that the best option would be doing nothing to avoid the separation. He thought Victor would just go away, soon bored of him, and he would have time to weep over him and hence not dealing with those _ too intense _feelings.

It turned out, though, that the exhibition had ended a few days ago and Victor had still come to the bookshop again, sending Yuuri’s weeping discourse to the trash can.

“Are you planning on organizing another book exhibition?” Yuuri spurts.

“Do I need to be organizing another exhibition in order to come here?”

“I don’t know?”

“Yuuri…” Victor starts, but the door opens and Phichit rushes toward Yuuri in a clear hurry.

“Yuuri! Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri!” He grabs his friend by the elbows and shakes him.

“Phichit?”

“Dude, you won’t believe what just happened! It’s just… Ah! You won’t believe it!” Phichit’s hair is all ruffled, as if he had come back running from the cafeteria.

“What is it?” Phichit’s enthusiasm quickly passes on to Yuuri, who starts shaking the other boy by the shoulders as well. “Phichit, what is it?”

“The intergalactic mythology book collection we have been looking for for an eternity! First edition! Yuuri, we finally found it!” Yuuri’s jaw drops and he can only stare at Phichit with huge, disbelief eyes.

“How?”

“I told you, you weren’t going to believe it! I was chatting with this guy queueing for the coffee and the subject came up because he’s also a collector! He told me he had some contacts who told him there was another guy selling them, so he called a friend, who called a friend and-“

“Sum it up.”

“Right! He sent me the seller’s contact. He warned me that he has already rejected a bunch of people since he put the offer up, but I had to try anyway. Fear is for people like Yuuri,” he jokingly mutters to Victor, who is staring at the both of them with curiosity.

Yuuri looks cautiously at his friend, quite afraid of the turnout of the events.

“And…?” he manages to ask.

“And… Yes?! He wants to sell us the books! Yuuri, he chose us amongst a bunch of people and he wants us to buy the books!”

Phichit start bouncing and laughing, and Yuuri gets carried away as well, has even to hold his glasses to avoid them from falling.

“Where-Where is this person? How can we get to them?” he asks out of breath once they are done celebrating.

“Oh, I haven’t checked yet. I was so excited I-“ he laughs. “Silly me.”

He gets his phone out and looks for the business card he has stored up in it. He starts reading carefully, eyes bright and smile brighter, until they aren’t. He frowns.

“The seller…”

“What?”

Phichit handles him the phone and Yuuri starts reading as well. In a matter of seconds all his joy seems to have evaporated. Victor suddenly realizes the change in the mood and steps in.

“What happens?” Yuuri smiles sadly.

“The seller is all the way across the Milky Way. We can’t afford all the expenses of a trip like that right now. I guess-“ he looks at Phichit, “I guess that those books will have to wait. There’s a lot of money involved and I would like to check that they’re worth their price in person better that being scammed.”

“That makes sense,” Victor mutters.

Yuuri’s shoulders are hunched and Phichit is weirdly silent. Victor looks at them, not really knowing how to amend the circumstances. Yuuri hates this kind of silences, always blames himself for them, and is about to shrug it off when Victor speaks again with a determined look in his eyes.

“I could pay for the expenses.”

\---

“He’s not paying for the trip.”

“But Yuuri.”

That same Monday afternoon, Phichit and Yuuri are heading home after closing the bookshop. Victor left soon after his offer, after Yuuri’s emphatic _ no _ and following refusals after Victor’s insistency. Victor left with a smile and an _ I’ll be back _.

“Not buts. This is almost a whim to us. No matter how rich he is, he is not paying for that.”

“But-“

“But what?” Yuuri stops in front of their block’s entrance door and looks at his friend.

“Have you not really considered it? We’ve been looking for those books for… For eons now. I don’t even remember. What if we don’t get another chance like this if we let this one go? Besides, Victor’s offered, it’s not like you threatened him with a gun to his head so he paid for the trip. And!” he finally adds with his index raised. “We would get a lot of benefits, so we would be able to pay him back.”

Yuuri sighs and leans back on the wall.

“But would it be fair?”

“What would be fair?”

“I don’t know,” he adds when he realizes he has no idea why he said that, he stares at the night sky. But Phichit knows his friend.

“The fact that someone helps you get something doesn’t mean that you are weak or didn’t have any merits.”

Yuuri instantly looks at his friend again with a frown. He is silent for a whole minute and wonders if Phichit can also see the cogs in his head turning. He ends up punching Phichit softly on the shoulders. What he means is _ thank you _, and Phichit also gets that.

“Besides!” Phichit is saying again, this time in a much more cheerful way, as if trying to get rid of that overthinking Yuuri is probably doing. “They guy almost threw his money at your face.”

That has an instant effect on Yuuri.

“But-“

“Oh, you don’t _ but _me now, my dude. Nothing you said or did forced Victor to offer you his money. If anything had any influence, that was your pretty face and his massive crush on you, and still you didn’t do that on purpose, so.” Phichit shrugs and Yuuri widens his eyes.

“Phichit! He-He doesn’t… I didn’t! But-But that would be even worse!”

Phichit snickers and pokes at his cheek.

“Oh, acknowledging then that Victor is crushing on you?” Yuuri turns around and hides his face in his hands.

“I didn’t say that,” he mutters. His cheeks burn. Phichit grabs his hands and takes them away from his face. He’s smiling softly at Yuuri.

“It doesn’t matter. Talk to him, I can assure you he offered because he wanted, but maybe you can reach a deal? Or definitely refuse his proposal?”

Yuuri looks at his friend with what can only be called devotion and gratitude, and softly nods. Phichit squeezes his hands before releasing them, turns around and finally heads for their apartment without waiting for Yuuri.

Yuuri starts walking behind him, still with his head filled with _ victorvictorvictor _ and the fact that he should really talk to him after being so stubborn that same morning. He stops dead on his feet, though.

“Hey!” he shouts at Phichit. “Why should I talk to Victor on my own? You want those books too!”

But Phichit runs until he reaches the door, opens it in a haze and starts climbing the stairs as he loudly laughs. Yuuri can only follow.

“You really are the worst!”

\---

Yuuri has arrived early to the cafeteria where Victor and him are going to meet. Very, very early. He is sitting at the table closer to the entrance with his eyes pinned on the glass wall in front of him, although he knows Victor isn’t probably going to arrive in at least thirty minutes.

He wonders if he should order something to drink so he can keep himself distracted, but thinks as well about the possibility of Victor arriving early and realizing Yuuri didn’t wait for him to order. He spends the following ten minutes debating about what to do, and when he reaches the conclusion that he should order something because Victor won’t probably mind, he spends the following five struggling about what to order.

He still has his face buried in the menu when someone touches his shoulder and almost gives him a heart attack.

Victor is smiling brightly at him as he sits on the chair in front of him.

“You didn’t fall off the chair today,” he jokes, and Yuuri could confess that if he keeps looking at him like that he would probably fall from the chair again at that precise moment. Instead, he says:

“You arrived early.”

“Well, yeah. I’m not the only one to speak,” he laughs. Yuuri wants to bury his head somewhere where Victor can’t see him blushing.

“Right,” he mutters.

“Shall we order?” Victor takes the other menu on top of the table and opens it, but it only takes him five seconds to decide. “Green tea for you? It’s your favourite, right? I’ll have a cappuccino.”

Yuuri can only manage a quick nod as Victor signals the barista to come. Ten minutes later they both have their drinks in front of them and Yuuri’s heart is warm. He always forgets how comfortable Victor makes him feel in these kind of situations. He’s not sure yet if Victor is aware of Yuuri’s weaknesses, but be it conscious or unconscious, Yuuri can’t help but feel a wave of devotion seeping through him.

So, when the time to speak about the trip comes, Yuuri finds himself prepared and confident.

“Have you thought about my offer?” Victor takes a sip of his coffee and gets a foam moustache on his upper lip. Yuuri focuses on Victor’s mouth for too long for his sanity, but if he wants this thing to be a serious conversation he must do something. After he decides he’s stared at Victor’s perfect lips long enough, he points at them.

“Uhm,” he whispers, “foam moustache.”

Victor raises his eyebrows and takes a paper napkin. Yuuri swears he is slightly blushed, but that must be the light, right? He takes advantage of that moment and speaks.

“I-I have thought about it.”

“And?”

“I feel bad about accepting your money.” Yuuri keeps his eyes fixed on the table as he speaks.

“Yuuri… I don’t feel obliged to pay for this, nor I’m pitying you. I really think this is a great chance for you and Phichit, and as a culture promoter I want to finance this.”

“You don’t need to if you don’t want to,” he mutters, not really sure about his words.

“But I want to. Yuuri, it seems that I’m the one interested in the books instead of you. And, yeah, I am selfish as well, I am being so utterly selfish you’ve no idea,” Yuuri looks up in surprise at the unexpected words that Victor has just spoken, “but I wouldn’t do anything that could make you feel uncomfortable here.”

Yuuri has thought about this conversation a lot, and has fought against his inner self a lot as well. He wants the books, he desperately wants the books, and still has tried to convince Victor against helping him.

Why is it so difficult for him to accept the offer? What is he afraid of? Phichit’s words keep ringing in his ears. Accepting Victor’s help doesn’t really make him weak or selfish? He has certainly no idea, but at the same time thinks that’s the whole reason.

He’s aware of that, though, pretty aware, and against all odds he had come up with a back-up plan that he could use only if he felt brave enough and Victor didn’t seem to mind. Unexpectedly, Victor confessing his selfishness has given Yuuri a new stance.

“We could make a deal.”

“A deal?” Victor only raises an eyebrow this time, and Yuuri nods enthusiastically. “What kind of deal?”

“One you might like.”

“You’re making me curious, Yuuri,” Victor laughs.

“You come too.”

\---

One week later the trip is almost organized.

Victor wouldn’t pay for the entirety of the trip, Yuuri and Phichit would assume as much expenses as they were able to and Victor could pay for the rest. Victor could also get a good percent of the benefits they were going to obtain from the books, and Yuuri also insisted on free books from their bookshop for as long as Victor wanted. If it were for Yuuri, that would be Victor’s whole life. Of course, Victor is travelling as well.

On the other hand, after a lot of considering —and Yuuri’s panicking— they also decided that either Phichit of Yuuri should stay on Earth to keep the bookshop open and working. It wouldn’t be any good if they lost the profits they would get during those few weeks the trip lasted. Phichit didn’t even bat an eyelash when he elbowed Yuuri with a smirk and told him he didn’t really want to get into a spaceship for that long. Yuuri just blushed and unsuccessfully tried to convince Phichit that that wasn’t a good enough reason.

Yuuri ended up panicking anyway and Phichit promised to wave a white handkerchief when he went to the spaceport to say goodbye.

When the day to leave arrives, Yuuri is jittery and nervous. He checks, double-checks, triple-checks that he has packed everything that he could need for a two-week space trip. He goes over the list of important documents and things he should be taking with him aloud with Phichit. He says goodbye to the hamsters twice, and texts his parents with every single update he gets. He paces the room once and again.

At some point, Phichit lays a hand on top of Yuuri’s shoulder and stops him.

“We’re leaving now.”

“But it’s not time to leave yet? I should-“

“We are leaving or else you’ll end up opening and closing the suitcase five more times.” Yuuri opens his mouth to speak, but Phichit cuts him off again. “There’s no excuses.”

The truth is Yuuri has never been into space for more than a couple of days. Space travelling was relatively recent, and hence it was not precisely cheap. He had gone to the Moon and Mars with his parents for some overcrowded visits, but that was it. He didn’t know how it would feel like to be enclosed in a metal box for two weeks with no way out if something bad happened. What if something bad happened?

When they arrive to the spaceport, their ship is already waiting for them, even though they arrived two hours early, and Victor, unexpectedly, is also there. He is not alone, though.

“What is he doing here?” Phichit asks.

“I have a name, dumbass.” Yuri Plisetski spits at Phichit. He is standing next to Victor with a suitcase and a leopard-printed hoodie. Yuri is Victor’s cousin and works part-time in the gallery. They have not spoken that much, but enough for Yuuri to know that Yuri intimidates the hell out of him. He looks at him and his suitcase with curious eyes, but glances away when their eyes meet and the teen raises an eyebrow at him.

_ I don’t like that our names are the same _, he had said when Victor introduced them the first time.

“If it weren’t for me,” Yuri continues, “you wouldn’t even have a spaceship to travel in, so you better be thankful that I agreed to help. If the old man is coming I am, too.” He points at Victor, who simply shrugs and smiles softly.

“Yura is really enthusiastic about space travel!” He exclaims, and Yuri deadpans him and begins walking towards the ship with a sigh. Phichit follows him close with a smile and asks something that Yuuri can’t quite hear. He only knows that Yuri is scowling again.

“He’s friends with Otabek Altin, the captain,” Victor says as they begin to walk as well. “He won’t admit it, but he’s actually really excited. It’s also thanks to him that Otabek didn’t extra charge us because of the short notice.”

Yuuri nods.

“I think he hates me.” And he says this so soft that Victor can barely hear him, but if he doubts it the laughs that Victor lets out is sign enough.

“Nonsense! You’ve grown on him these past months. He just… expresses affection in a quite peculiar way, don’t worry?” Yuuri’s the one who sighs now.

“Do you really think so?”

Victor holds out a hand to Yuuri with his little finger up and smiles. They are so close that their arms are grazing.

“Pinky promise.” Yuuri offers his little finger as well and intertwines it with Victor’s slowly, and Victor smiles so bright at him that he wonders if he’s dreaming or not. “Cute.”

When they finally reach the spaceship, Yuuri is blushing so red that Phichit guffaws.

Otabek and the rest of the crew are waiting for them in a medium-size hangar close to the main spaceport, with the spaceship on point and everything almost ready for the departure. Otabek, the captain and pilot of the ship, is tall and fit, with dark eyes and a soldier-like gaze that could freeze anyone on their feet. Still, there’s something calm and peaceful about it. There’s a woman on his right, with hair as red as blood and eyes a deep tone of blue. Mila Babicheva, second in charge in the spaceship, is smiling and waving at them. On Otabek’s left there’s another dark-haired man, a bit smaller than the captain, but much more intimidating and much less welcoming: Seung-gil Lee, the mechanic engineer of the ship.

They are the crew of the AL-3110, an updated model of a cargo spaceship meant for longer trips and few people. Otabek had been piloting it for almost three years along with Mila and Seung-gil, not really needing anyone else.

They are soon allowed inside it. Victor and Yuri enter the ship after waving goodbye to Phichit, Yuuri stays outside and eyes Phichit, who stands in front of him.

“I wish you could come, I-“ he starts.

“The only thing I want you to tell me once you’re back is when is your date with Victor gonna take place.”

“Phi-Phichit!” Yuuri mutters, but his friend just closes the space between them and hugs him tight.

“Send me a picture as soon as you get those books!” he says as they hold each other.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Of course you will, I’m easy to miss.”

And he is, he really is. They have been together for so long, have shared so many important moments together, that buying those books without Phichit is going to be like missing a part of his body. He really, really wishes he could go with them as well.

“I’ll keep you updated.” Yuuri sets his arms loose and takes a step back, with a feeling he can’t really put a name to in his stomach.

“You better, buddy,” Phichit states with a smile and keeps watching until Yuuri gets in the ship. The last thing Yuuri sees before the door closes is Phichit waving goodbye at him. He lets a long sigh out again and joins Victor and Yurio.

Since the ship is not taking off yet, they have enough time to wander, and Yuuri discovers that his panic seems to be settling as soon as he becomes familiar with the rooms and the nooks of their soon-to-be temporary house. Although it has this artificial and mechanical feeling to it —of course, it’s a spaceship— it still feels inhabited and alive. He then realizes that Otabek, Mila and Seung-gil spend a good amount of their lives in that ship, and suddenly everything makes sense: it’s a home rather than a simple vehicle.

The AL-3110 is divided into two separated areas. The more functional rooms are hosted in the front of the spaceship —the control room, the airlock, emergency capsules and a small storage room amongst others—, while the habitation area occupies the back —two bedrooms, one for the crew and one for them, a small lounge with a kitchen and a bathroom—. There is a tiny maze of smaller hallways connecting each part together as well and, underneath all of this, there’s the engines.

Seung-gil is clear when he eyes the three of them and announces that they’re only allowed in the habitation area until further notice. Even Yurio agrees with a nod.

Yuuri decrees that, despite Seung-gil being scary and the hallways a bit confusing, the ship feels comfortable enough. It’s his first time travelling in such a personal and habitable metal box.

Soon after they are ready to take off. There is a small row of seats in their part of the hall where Seung-gil commands them to sit until they have reached the space, and they obey quickly. Yuuri would actually be enjoying one of the things he likes the most about space travel if he wasn’t struggling to fasten the complex security belt.

Steady, warm hands set on top of his shaky ones in a matter of seconds, though.

“Need help?” Victor has unfastened his own security belt as is standing in front of Yuuri with a smile that could power the whole ship.

“If you please.” Yuuri gives him back a small, shy smile and moves his hands away slowly. Victor takes ten seconds to fasten the seatbelt, and then looks up, winks an eye at Yuuri and sits again on his own seat, right to Yuuri. “First time flying, huh?” Yuuri tries to joke with a shaky —excited— voice.

Victor smiles and, for the third time in a too short period of time, Yuuri is at risk of falling from a chair due to Victor.

“It’s my first time being this excited about a flight, if that’s what you’re asking, Yuuri.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t tell anybody,” he whispers, “but rumour has it that there’s a really handsome bookseller coming as well.”

Yuuri barely has time to flush when Yurio is speaking.

“Stop that.” Yuri is sitting right next to Victor and is scowling at the both of them. “No flirting in front of me. You are utterly disgusting and I won’t go through that, thank you so much.”

Victor pouts, but Yuuri is _ utterly _blushed and only wants for a hole in the floor to open and swallow him wholly. He sighs, looking everywhere else but the two people sitting next to him. It’s going to be a long, long trip, isn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the first one, four more to go!
> 
> All the chapters are written, they just need some editing, so expect frequent updates from me. I'll probably be posting every friday/saturday if time is merciful with me and allows me to do some quality editing (I'm a slow writer, forgive me orz).
> 
> Thank you so much to Estefanía and Kazul for betaing this first chapter!!! You've helped me a lot <3 And thank you so so much as well to every reader that has reached the end of this chapter, I love you tons, my kudos are for you!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://owlishann.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/owlishann)! Feel free to scream at me in any of those places :D!


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of communication, books and Yuuri befriending Yura (or Yura befriending Yuuri)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite soft and calm as well, you don't need to worry about the angst, so no TW (yet)!

Time in space, Yuuri thinks as he wakes up and all the lights are still off, is weird. In the spaceship, there's a digital clock in every room pointing out what time it is in Detroit, and the lights all around the ship vary according to them.

At first, it left Yuuri pretty confused. What's even time where there's no sun to tell apart days and nights? Otabek cared to disagree, though_. If you're not aware of time, he said, you're hardly aware of yourself as well. You could easily forget to sleep for two days in a row, even to eat sometimes._

And that, somehow, made sense. Ever since Yuuri tries to keep in mind the clocks and adjust his routine to them. Sadly, he realizes when it's been already three days, it's quite the impossible task. For him, at least. When he puts his glasses on and focuses his gaze on their bedroom's clock it's still four in the morning. Yuuri lets out a sigh. He won't be able to fall asleep again.

Their bedroom is made by two bunks, a built-in closet and a tiny nightstand between the two beds. The beds fit so well in the room that it looks like the walls were built around the bunks once they were placed. As it turns out, Yuri is sleeping in the bed on top of Victor's and Yuuri —who likes bunks more than he will ever admit— chose to sleep in the other upper bed, even though the lower one remained empty.

He thought that was a great idea, but since he wants to leave the room at four in the morning without waking Yuri nor Victor up it doesn't look as great anymore. As quietly as he can, he slowly gets down the ladder and as soon as his feet touch the floor he leaves the room without turning.

He heads for the lounge, which turned out to be the perfect size for Yuuri's discomfort —small and cosy, with a tiny kitchen and an even tinier fridge—. They are all spending most of their time in the ship there, where the red, round table in a corner of the room always welcomes them and the chairs are more comfortable than they could have ever imagined.

When the sliding door opens, though, he realizes that he's not the only one awake.

"Hi," Yuuri whispers. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Victor is sitting next to the —their— table and turns to look at him a bit tense and alert, but as soon as he sees Yuuri he relaxes again.

"Would've been great if I had felt from the chair, huh?" he answers as quiet as Yuuri asked, but a hint of a laugh shines in Victor's eyes and Yuuri can barely repress the one that climbs up his throat. "I'm not a good sleeper in space, so I wasn't expecting any difference this time. I just resigned."

Victor tries to smile, but the tiredness is what finally stands out. Yuuri approaches him and leans on the back of his chair with his hands to take a peek at the mug that Victor is holding.

"Then you shouldn't be drinking… Green tea?" Yuuri realizes with surprise, "at four in the morning."

Victor chuckles and turns his neck the slightest to look Yuuri in the eye, who suddenly is aware of their closeness and decides that's better if he sits on the empty chair next to him —not as close but close enough—.

"These artificial lights don't really work for my sleeping schedule. I wish my brain could be fooled, though." He takes a sip of his tea. "I always end up with the weirdest jetlag when I'm back on Earth."

"That sounds awful."

"It is. But you're also awake." This time he turns his whole body towards Yuuri, as if they couldn't stop looking for each other as soon as they were in the same room.

"I guess my brain can't be fooled either." But, at that precise moment, a yawn betrays Yuuri. And then another one. Yuuri rubs his eyes and a third yawn escapes his mouth. "I can't believe myself sometimes."

"Was the bedroom that lonely without me?"

"What? No!" Yuuri widens his eyes. "I didn't even realize you were gone when I woke up." When he looks at Victor again, though, he's barely holding up his laughter. "Victor!"

"Fine, fine." He stands up. "I'll make you some forgive-me tea, don't worry. Green?"

"Green."

Yuuri represses another yawn and Victor turns the boiler on.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to bed?"

"I'm pretty sure that if I go to bed now I won't be able to fall asleep."

"Fine."

But, against all predictions, it's Victor the one that has to repress a yawn now. Yuuri shamelessly laughs at him and some funny tears fill his eyes. The water starts boiling at the same time that Yuuri stops to take a breath, and Victor soon leaves the filled mug on the table in front of him.

"I like it when you do that."

Victor is staring at him with intense blue eyes, and Yuuri stops laughing and focuses instead on the clear water getting coloured by the herbs.

"Do what?"

"When you smile. When you laugh. When you're free like that."

The blush takes less than one second to spread, but he can somehow fight it.

"I-Uhm. I also like it when you do that. You… Should do it more often." He stays quiet for some seconds but manages what he really wanted to say. "You look peaceful like that."

Even though without looking directly at Victor, Yuuri can see how his eyes widen in surprise.

"It's-I-" Victor stutters, and Yuuri can only think that he made Victor Nikiforov stutter. That should be written down somewhere. "It feels peaceful when I'm with you."

And now Yuuri does look up, only to be faced with the softest look he's ever, ever seen.

The first time Yuuri saw Victor, it was on television. He was advertising his new exhibition and was wearing a fitting navy blue suit that emphasized the colour of his eyes. At that moment, Yuuri thought that he had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

The second time Yuuri saw Victor, it was in person, in the exhibition he had advertised. He was wearing a black suit this time. It didn't emphasize his eyes that much, but it didn't really matter because, even from afar, Yuuri was marvelled by them.

And now that he's seeing Victor for the umpteenth time, he is still enthralled by them. When Yuuri thinks of Victor's eyes, he always thinks of the contradiction between cold and blue. About how the blue things he is so used to are usually cold. Hasetsu sea. The frozen lake he used to skate on during winter. That popsicle Phichit and Yuuri always bought in the hottest summer days in Detroit. Blue and cold.

There is always an exception, though, because when Yuuri looks Victor in the eye all that he feels is _warm warm warm_. No matter the place, the time, the circumstances, that's what Victor always brings him. He wishes he was a poet, so he could write odes to everything that Victor made him feel. He is not, but he can borrow their voices.

"Yuuri?" Victor asks when he sees that Yuuri has been quiet for too long.

"Have-Have you ever read any of Rilke's poems?"

Victor immediately tips his head, and Yuuri wonders if he's just been the dumbest being in the universe because what normal human being would care about Rilke when he died almost six hundred years ago?

"I took a look at that copy you always carry with you, but I didn't stop to read one. What did he write about?"

Yuuri's heart starts galloping in his chest and wonders if it's too late to step back, because the only word that comes to his mind when he thinks of Rilke is love. Why does he speak without thinking first?

"Feelings," he answers almost choked, and Victor smiles. He takes a breath. "If-if you like I could give you one of his most famous poetry books when we're back."

"I'd really appreciate that!" And he does that heart smile Yuuri loves so much. "Do you know any of the poems by heart?"

And Yuuri blushes because of course he knows. He has been thinking of that poem since Victor looked at him that night. He nods.

"Would you… Recite it for me?"

Yuuri nods again, unsure but determined at the same time, and takes a sip of his tea and clears his voice. Victor closes his eyes, and Yuuri thanks him in silence before he starts. Yuuri also closes his eyes.

"Understand, I'll slip quietly

away from the noisy crowd

when I see the pale

stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.

I'll pursue solitary pathways

Through the pale twilit meadows,

With only this one dream:

_You come too_."

When he's over, Yuuri is aware of how soft his voice sounded, how much feeling there was in it, and fear it was too much for Victor. But when he opens his eyes again he finds Victor still has his eyes closed, but a delicate, sweet smile has blossomed in his face. He looks as soft as Yuuri thinks his voice sounded, if not more.

"Thank you," he whispers, and his voice sounds a bit broken and vulnerable.

"That's fine."

When the clock ticks seven in the morning and Yurio wakes up to drink a glass of water, he finds Yuuri and Victor asleep on the lounge's chairs really close to each other. He stares for a while as he finishes the water, brow furrowed.

"Whatever," he mutters as he leaves. He tells Otabek to heat the room just a bit, though.

\---

The first thing Yuuri notices when he enters the house is the smell. It's a smell that always brings good omens for him and Phichit: old books. They have spent a good part of their lives scavenging for things that not many people seemed to care about and coming across things way more people cared about. _L'eau de old books_ was quite a familiar fragrance for them.

The house, despite being the year 2516, is decorated with much older aesthetics —21st century? Victor suggests —, so when he steps out of the ship and into their seller's residence it seems that they have not only light-travelled but also time-travelled. He takes it with gratitude and comfort.

Despite the looks, the place is fully equipped with modern technology. Automatic doors opened when they approached the entrance and announced who they were to a weirdly shaped intercom, and an anthropomorphic robot receives them in the lobby with a metallic voice and guides them toward a second pair of doors.

These are huge, wooden doors ornamented with an intricate path of relieves carved on its surface. They are promising, and it's when they open that they enter the library and finally meet the seller.

"Younglings! Welcome back, looking nice today, huh?"

They are received by what seems to be a man with dog-like features. Folded ears peek behind a bush of dark brown, softly curled hair that's tied in a low ponytail. A snout the colour of cinnamon frames his face. He's quite round and small, with tiny glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose, threatening to fall but never falling. Yuuri can't help but think of that old, old remake of The Treasure Island where everything happened in the space. He is also pretty sure he's wearing his pyjamas, but he is cautious enough not to ask.

"Nice pyjamas, sir," Victor says with that smile of his, and Yuuri needs all the strength he has to avoid face-palming himself.

"Thank you, dear! They are indeed my favourite, an old friend's gift." The dog-like man shakes Victor's hand and turns toward Yuuri with a huge smile. "So you're here for your books, huh?" He asks as he relentlessly shakes Yuuri's hand. Yuuri's all body shakes as well with the motion and he does his best to nod. "That's what I thought!"

"We're so grateful that you agreed to sell your books to us, sir, we couldn't be more humbled."

"Quit the sir, youngling! I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?" He laughs loudly, and Yuuri realizes they haven't introduced themselves properly either. "I'm Noah McCan. You can call me Noah."

"We're-" Yuuri starts.

"Oh, I know who you are! Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov. Always a pleasure." He shakes again their hands and once he's over he stands in front of them with excited eyes as he examines Yuuri and Victor closely. "Weird, huh?" he mutters.

Yuuri is about to ask what's weird, but he decides he doesn't want to know. He looks at Victor, who turns out to be equally as excited as their host.

"Your collection is awesome," Victor says, and that's when Yuuri remembers where they are. He takes the time to look around and experience first-handed the value this library has. The ceiling could perfectly be the height of three storeys, and the walls… Oh, the walls are completely covered by shelves full of books. This is heaven on earth. Or, well, heaven on another planet.

The light that enters the window provides the room with an ideal golden light that Yuuri has only seen in dreams, and Yuuri has the strong need to sit somewhere and begin binging anything that falls into his hands.

"Thank you!" Mister McCan exclaims by his side, taking Yuuri out of his reverie and reminding him that that wasn't the main plan. "It's taken me some time to reach this magnificence. I'll tell you the story someday."

He heads forward, toward a wide desk where a stack of books is waiting for them. Yuuri shivers when he recognizes their spines. Victor notices and smiles by his side.

"All yours," the man says, and signals toward the books with a hand. Yuuri rushes, but even before he can lay a hand on the books he remembers something else.

"Sir, why did you choose us?" The man furrows his brow, confused. "I mean," Yuuri quickly adds, "our contact told us you have let a lot of buyers down. Why are we different?"

Victor looks at Yuuri with curiosity, and Noah McCan puts his right hand on his chin and pretends he's thinking deeply about the question.

"Well," he finally says, "they're an old friends' gift and I know they would choose you too. I know for a fact that you are really going to put them to good use."

Yuuri couldn't agree more, knowing that those books are going to be in the best of hands if Phichit and he are the ones taking care of them, but still mister McCan's word feel cryptical in a way. Yuuri decides it's better not to ask, just in case they end up kidnapped in a basement. They pick the books up, pay for them and thank Noah McCan intensely before they leave for the ship again.

"Keep the receipt in case you want to give them back!" the man shouts before the doors close again, and Yuuri and Victor look at each other with a funny look and a smile.

"What a weird, little funny man," Yuuri says when they're far enough.

"I've had to restrain myself from petting his cute ears," Victor adds. "I've decided that I'm going to adopt a dog one day, soon I hope." Yuuri looks at him with a smile.

"How are you gonna name it?"

"Makkachin!"

"That's cute."

\---

The lounge is dimly lit the following time that Yuuri ends up sitting there instead of sleeping. This time, though, Victor is not there. He is not alone, though, not really.

"Show me!" Phichit exclaims from the other side of the tablet-like device that stands in front of Yuuri. Yuuri chuckles and turns the device around so that Phichit can see the stall of books piled on top of the table.

"Can you see it properly? Otabek said the signal is weaker the further we are from the control room. This tablet is his, none of our devices work here, and-"

"_Ohmygod_," Phichit's eyes widen and shine as he gets close to the screen to admire their acquisition, "those are gorgeous! I can't wait to put my hands on them! How do they smell?"

Yuuri grabs the book that stands on top and brings it close to his nose.

"They smell almost as if they have been kept in a library among a bunch of other books for decades."

"Great, you mean," Phichit adds with a smile, and Yuuri's only answer is a low of course.

"Someone also took notes in some pages with a pen, but that can add value to it, they look interesting." Yuuri shrugs and opens the book he was holding. "For example, ‘_Do they like belly rubs?_' is written in the entry for the moony satellite hound, and ‘_We should definitely study their cuisine, it's not a very researched field' for the oods_."

Phichit represses a laugh, but when Yuuri raises an eyebrow at him he can't hold it anymore.

"It sounds like something you would write, Yuuri, don't misinterpret me." Yuuri rolls his eyes, but it takes him only some seconds to admit it.

"And the writing looks similar to mine. Maybe I have a doppelganger somewhere in the universe." Phichit laughs louder and Yuuri shushes him.

"They're all sleeping, you loud goat!"

"Hey!" Phichit answers in a much softer voice, and it's Yuuri now the one who can hold his laugh. Whatever. Everything went well apart from your doppelganger?"

Yuuri closes the book and holds it close to his heart. He nods.

"Yeah. The seller was pretty nice, a bit weird, though. But I guess that's not new. I asked him why did he choose us among the other buyers and he just told me that he knew that we are going to put them to good use?"

"Maybe he read about us? A few articles about the display were published, our names are public."

Yuuri hadn't thought about that, but it made sense.

"Whatever, the books are fine. They're a bit mistreated by the pass of time, they look a bit older than they really are, but it's nothing we can't fix."

"Great! And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"How are you?"

"Oh. I'm-I'm fine?" He leans back on the chair with the book still to his chest. Phichit raises one questioning eyebrow and gets closer to the screen again as if trying to break the distance between them. He doesn't really need to say anything for Yuuri to start speaking again. "Fine. I'm-Victor and I are spending a lot of time together? And I might have recited a Rilke's poem for him?"

"Wow, you what?" Phichit laugh. "What a bold move, Yuuri! Oh, knight of my heart, I shall recite this poem for you as a sign of my love." Yuuri hides his face in his hands as he reddens.

"I know," he mutters.

"Which one?" Yuuri stays silent for some seconds, knowing how Phichit will react, and gulps.

"Pathways."

"Yuuri, you heart breaker!" Phichit covers his mouth with a hand and exaggeratedly widens his eyes.

"It's just-It's just that he seems to care a lot, and doesn't even mind that I panic or that I'm this weird mess of a bookseller? And Rilke… He always," he turns around to check that no one is listening," he always makes me think of Victor." This last part he whispers and Phichit's expression immediately softens.

"I know. But?"

"But what if when we're back on earth he just… is not interested in meeting anymore? What if this is just a spur-of-the-moment thing?" He speaks this low, almost as is saying it aloud would make the possibility more real. As if admitting his fears would turn them into flesh-and-blood monsters. "I shouldn't have gotten this close to him."

"Do you regret that?"

Yuuri's answer is automatic.

"I don't."

"I'd give you my advice, but I think that you've already made up your mind if you're telling me this, haven't you? You're just too afraid to admit it out loud." Yuuri dares to look at his friend again.

"I would like to hear it, though."

"But what would you like to hear? My honest opinion or what you want to hear?" Yuuri doesn't need to answer, just needs to nod, and Phichit's response comes instantaneously. "I believe you're already too deep in that you don't want to get out."

Yuuri, at last, can release all the air he was holding up, and a weight seems to lift off his chest. He closes his eyes, the meaning of those words too meaningful and wise. They strike close to a place he doesn't like to visit really often, but that it's still there, reminding him that it exists. But he lets it surround him, strike him fully for once, and it only takes him seconds to realize that Phichit sometimes knows him better than himself.

"You might be right," he says after the calm has seeped through him.

"When am I not?" is Phichit's only answer. Yuuri loves this person with his whole heart.

"I miss you."

"You'll be back soon, you crybaby! I need to see those books." Yuuri coughs. "And you as well, of course. Hey, how is that little Yuri guy doing?"

Yuuri has not changed his mind about that, though.

"I still think he hates me."

Phichit laughs with all his breath and Yuuri joins him. They both should be going to sleep, but they keep talking for another hour. Just before they're about to say goodbye, though, Phichit mutters a quick I miss you too and I'll see you soon that make Yuuri wholeheartedly smile.

\---

The morning after, Yuuri is wandering the habitation area, with a gutted feeling telling him that he's waiting for something, anything to happen. He tries to pay it no attention, to find something to distract him and escape this slow and eternal waiting. He hasn't seen Victor in the whole morning and Yurio wasn't really in the mood to talk to him, so as usual —and weird as it can be— he ends up in the bathroom.

Yuuri could write a whole dissertation about panicking in bathrooms. He's never really stopped to wonder why, but his anxious mind likes the bathroom better than any other room when it comes to discomfort and anxiety.

He's not the only one to think like that in the ship, though.

"Victor?"

It's weird, as well, finding Victor sitting on the closed lid of the toilet with his hair poorly combed and the start of dark circles showing under his eyes. He looks like a clumsy, big child like that, and Yuuri's chest hurts a little just by looking at him.

Victor looks up as soon as Yuuri enters the bathroom, and it takes him exactly two seconds to react and stand up. Yuuri can see the precise moment when the look in his eyes changes from surprise and helplessness to feigned calmed and a fake smile.

"Yuuri!" he exclaims, and Yuuri wonders what would it feel like to hug him and tell him he's fine. "I'm done, the bathroom is all yours."

Yuuri gulps, he doesn't know how to approach Victor in these kinds of situations, but he doesn't want the man to leave and do nothing about it. He tries.

"I was actually here for the same thing as you?" He sits on the toilet, where Victor had just been sitting for who knows how long, and softly smiles. Victor tips his head to a side and lays a finger on his chin as if waiting for clarification.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," he says, and Yuuri realizes there's a lot of things to do in a bathroom apart from panicking. He's sure he's blushed from his toes to the tip of his ears.

"No-Not like that! I meant, like. Ugh." He hides his face on his hands and grumbles. Well played, Yuuri. But instead of a weird look, his suffering is met with a low chuckle. He instantly looks up and finds Victor is sitting on the floor in front of him. He is enthralled by how soft he suddenly looks, and surprises himself thinking that's the Victor he likes the most.

"Sorry. Kidding," he mutters, and keep looking at Yuuri with that look. There's something a little bit off, though, there's also something else in Victor's eyes. "I don't really know why I came here, I don't have this habit, I swear."

Yuuri, as he is, ends up leaving the toilet and sitting as well on the floor in front of Victor.

"You're gonna be the death of mine," he sighs as he slides to the ground, but he is smiling. "You don't have to justify yourself."

Victor meets his eyes with intensity and frowns a bit, just as if it would help him get a little bit deeper into Yuuri's thoughts. Yuuri is sitting with his back to the wall and his feet on the floor, legs bent in the form of an upside v. Victor is mirroring his position in front of him.

"Do you come here often?" Victor asks.

"Well, you know," Yuuri starts, and just by looking at Victor he knows he's already regretting the question, "I don't have the habit to pee myself."

"I deserved that," Victor says, and Yuuri nods but quickly answers him seriously.

"When my dog died a few months ago I wasn't home. My sister, she called and told me, and I ended up hiding in a public bathroom for an hour. I just… couldn't handle being surrounded by people at that moment, and somehow the bathroom seemed to be the best option. It always seems to be."

Victor doesn't say a thing, instead, he gets a bit closer to Yuuri and squeezes one of Yuuri's legs between his owns. Yuuri squeezes too. He feels closer to discovering what's different in Victor's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Victor whispers. Silence falls between them, but their legs are still intertwined. "It's weird," he adds.

"What's weird?"

Victor looks at his legs and wets his lips.

"It's just… I'm not really used to be so honest about my feelings around other people, but… you make it look so easy?"

"It's not easy," Yuuri firmly says. "It takes trust, and honesty with yourself, and exposing yourself and feeling vulnerable. It's not easy at all."

"Is-Is it not?"

Oh, and Yuuri can finally see it. There's fear in Victor's eyes, and a deep, deep sadness that he is usually able to bury deep inside and that suddenly seems to be surfacing. Yuuri chokes.

"I promise. I do. I do."

Victor lets go the last bit of the mask he was wearing, and Yuuri can finally see all those things those blue eyes —as blue as the sea— are hiding in its depths. That's why he doesn't want anyone to see, it's too obvious.

"I'm a bit scared." He doesn't dare to look Yuuri in the eye as he frowns, but Yuuri doesn't push him, just lays a hand on top of one of his knees. "Please, don't take this as a reproach. These few weeks, I got used really fast to not being alone at all? I-Yura is usually around at the gallery, but this is different. And you… I've never felt so comfortable with anybody around as much as you."

Yuuri raises his eyebrows in surprise at the unexpected but still doesn't speak.

"And we're coming back? And I still can't figure it out, I can't figure out what do you want from me, Yuuri. I-I love being with you, and I think you do too, but then again you act as if you're just waiting for me to leave as if you're rejecting me, and-and…" Victor stops and takes a deep breath. "I don't want to come back and being asked again if I visited you because I want to organize another display after these weeks. I'm used to be lonely," Yuuri's heart breaks more, if possible," but I don't want to be lonely again because I misunderstood you."

"Victor…" Yuuri whispers.

"And I don't mean that for you to feel obliged to be around me constantly once we're back! That's not why I'm telling you this, I just want you to be honest."

"I-"

Yuuri is overwhelmed and he doesn't even know where to start untangling all the feelings that are suddenly mixing up in his chest. So he begins with the most obvious one.

"I hadn't realized I was hurting you." All the air leaves him and guilty replaces it. "I wasn't meaning to, I-"

He lowers his eyes, looking back at every time he had distanced just a bit from Victor to prepare himself for separation. He sees it differently now: Victor didn't mean to go away, didn't want to, and every time Yuuri stepped back he only confused Victor more, made him doubt about Yuuri's intentions.

_Do I need to be organizing another exhibition to come here?_

Victor's words from that day in the bookshop replay once again in Yuuri's mind, but what really hurts is his own answer. _I don't know._

"Victor, I'm so sorry. I-I'm sorry." He covers his mouth with his hand and looks down, waiting for Victor to leave. But he remains still, legs still intertwined with Yuuri's and stance relaxed. Yuuri knows Victor must have seen the surprise in his face because he says.

"I'm not leaving." Yuuri looks up and faces him. "I should have asked before, this," he points at both of them, "is my fault too. I'm not blaming you, I just want to know. I'm not angry, I'm not reproachful nor bitter. I'm sorry, too."

Yuuri still feels needles poking his heart, but it hurts a bit less.

"I-" he starts, "I love spending time with you. I always have." He doesn't look away from Victor's eyes. "I was afraid… you would leave once you realized how boring I was."

Victor freezes.

"You mean we were both worried about the same thing when all we wanted was to spend time with the other?" He raises an eyebrow, and Yuuri nods. And, against all odds, Victor starts laughing and tension leaves Yuuri's chest and tears are suddenly filling his eyes.

"Can-Can I hug you?" He chokes out between sobs and before he can even realize he has Victor's arms wounded around him and his head hidden on the crook of his neck. Yuuri surrounds him as well.

"I'm sorry, again," he mutters.

"I am too, again," Victor whispers, and his lips tickle Yuuri's neck and a shiver that feels like an electric shock runs up his spine and gives his goosebumps.

They stay like that for so long that Yuuri's arms start to go numb and his back starts to hurt, but he doesn't mind at all. All he cares about is making sure Victor feels safe and warm in his arms. He knows it shouldn't be something that completely depended on him, making sure that Victor didn't feel lonely, but he's sure he's going to do all that he can to make sure that doesn't happen again.

He swears.

\---

If you are resourceful enough, there are many things to do in a spaceship. Especially if you bring with you a whole uno deck, have enough people and are bored.

"Wild draw four."

"Yuuri why would you do that to me?" Victor pouts as soon as Yuuri lays his card on the table. "Do you not like me?"

But Yuuri stares at the remaining cards in his hands and answers Victor without even looking at him.

"It's only a game, Victor."

"But." Yuuri does look at him now with questioning eyes. "I wouldn't use that card against someone I care about."

After the bathroom confession, Victor and Yuuri had started to get more and more comfortable around each other. The barrier that Yuuri had built between each other had finally started to fall and all the things that remained unsaid suddenly were making their way out.

"Maybe I don't care about you." And Yuuri gives him his best innocent smile. Victor stares agape at him and puts a hand on top of his chest.

"Alas, you wounded me again." They chuckle at the same time.

"Enough, I'm sick of you. I swear I am. Are you gonna play or not?" Yurio, sitting next to Victor, points at the cards piling on top of the table and throws Victor a poisoned look.

"If that's Yuuri's final card…?"

"It is."

Victor sighs and puts a green draw two card on top of the pile. That leaves him with a single card. "Uno," he says as he smiles.

"What? No fucking way!" Yurio gets up from the chair he's sitting on so fast that he knocks it down. He points at Victor with his index. "That's not how it is."

"That's not how it is what?" Victor tips his head and looks at Yuri.

"You can't put a draw two card after a wild draw for. Those are the rules."

"I didn't know you were such a bad loser, Yura. If you don't have any card to put on top of that you'll have to pick six new cards. I'm so sorry."

Yuri takes advantage of his standing position and grabs Victor by the hem of his shirt.

"I could defeat all of you with my eyes closed, you cheater!" Yurio's brow is angrily knitted, but Victor can only smile innocently at him.

"It's fine. We all lose sometimes, _Yura_."

Yuuri can tell the exact same moment that Yurio loses his temper. He's spent enough time with the teen to be able to predict –sometimes—his actions. So as soon as Victor speaks Yuri's name with that condescendence and Yuuri sees how Yurio's eyes light up in flames and his grip on Victor's hem intensifies, he knows that the countdown to a temporary apocalypse is about to reach zero. He's intervening before he himself realizes.

"Rules are clear, Victor." Suddenly, Victor and Yuri are looking at him with surprise in their eyes, the storm in Yuri's eyes is suddenly giving a break, waiting for Yuuri's word to take a new direction or not. Yuuri feels intimidated, but it's too late to step back now.

"What?" Victor and Yurio mutter at the same time. Yuuri gulps.

"You can't throw a draw two on top of a wild draw four?" Yuuri's voice comes out low, almost inexistent, but it has a clear effect on the other two. Yuuri is not talking without knowledge. He knows he read about that rule somewhere, sometime, he can kind of recall it. Kind of.

"Ha!" Yurio shouts at Victor, letting him free at last.

"Yuuuuri." There it is, Victor's pout and puppy eyes. "You do hate me, don't you? We're in the space, a lawless land. There's not even a land to rule!"

Yuuri shrugs and smiles, admiring how gorgeous Victor is even with defeat in his face.

"Remember that spaceship accident a few years ago where they had to do an emergency landing on Asteroid B-612?" Victor nods. "The engineer knocked the pilot out because of a fight over uno and they almost end up crushing."

"You're kidding." Victor squints at Yuuri, puppy eyes long forgotten.

"I am, but that would have been fun."

"It would," Victor agrees, and drinks in the sight of Yuuri slightly blushing when he approaches his chair to his and rubs their knees together.

Yurio stares at their knees with a frown.

"I thought we agreed on no flirting in my presence."

"It isn't technically flirting," Victor starts, but the intercom installed in the wall next to the table starts fizzling and the captain's voice comes out of it.

"Passenger of the AL-3110, we will come to a temporary stop to perform some routine proceedings. It shouldn't take longer than necessary and in no time we will be heading back Earth. This is a common process and doesn't change the protocol at all; you are allowed to walk the habitation area and to keep doing your regular activities in the ship. Thank you."

The only audible sound for a few seconds is the white noise coming from the intercom before Otabek hangs up.

"That's the most I've heard Otabek speak all at once," Victor says with a smile. Yurio crosses his arms and puts his legs on top of the table.

"Great. More waiting. As if this wasn't enough. I hate boring emergency stops."

"E-Emergency stops?" Yuuri stutters. As soon as he heard Otabek's announcement, his chest had started feeling a bit heavier, and Yurio's words are not precisely helping. "He didn't say anything about an emergency."

"Don't need to make a fuss out of it," Yurio says without looking at him. "That's why most stops take place if they're not programmed. Happens every time. Something is malfunctioning and they need to fix it, another ship runs out of fuel and we stop to help, something unexpected happens…" Yuri shrugs. "I once heard about a whole crew that got ambushed when they stopped to help a distressed ship. They were found five years later." He pauses dramatically. "Dead or alive, I leave that to your imagination."

Yuuri feels how all the air leaves his lungs and his anxiety strikes. Victor calmly lays a warm hand on his shoulder and rubs his thumb against the fabric of his t-shirt. Yuuri can breathe a bit once more.

"Yura, don't bring that up again," Victor reprehends him and focuses on Yuuri again with a smile. "That's not true, Christophe told him once and it has stuck. This is nothing to worry about, really, it has happened plenty of times to us before and we had never had to worry about it. It shouldn't take long, don't listen to Yura."

With his free hand, he takes both of Yuuri's. Yuuri didn't know how much he needed that, but he is grateful that someone in that room is taking pity out of him. He decides that listening to Victor's reassuring voice might probably better than listening to his panicking mind —although it's a fierce opponent— and he tries his best.

Yurio looks at him from the corner of his eyes with a gaze Yuuri hasn't seen yet. Guilt? But the teen quickly looks away.

"Beka knows what he does," he mutters as he collects the uno cards and starts shuffling them. Yuuri widens a bit his eyes. Was that…?

"It's so nice of you to reassure Yuuri!" Victor exclaims with a huge smile. Instantly, Yuri slightly blushes and throws the deck at Victor, and the cards get dispersed all around the room.

"I'm not reassuring anyone, you asshole. I'm stating the truth."

"Sure."

"Whatever." He stands. "I'm gonna ask Beka if I'm allowed in the control room while we're waiting. Uhm…" he takes a quick look at Yuuri and then heads for the door. Yuuri still doesn't know how to properly speak Plisetski, but he could swear that was the closest thing to an invitation he is going to get from the teen.

He tries.

"Do you think he'll let us in, too?" Yuuri carefully asks, daring to look the teen straight in the eye. The surprise is painted all over Victor's face.

"I don't think you're cool enough for Beka, but you can try it anyway."

And he leaves in a rush, not waiting for them. They follow soon, though, Victor with a playful smile and Yuuri humbled by Yuri.

When they reach the door that divides the habitation are from the control, Yuri is speaking with Otabek via the intercom again. They arrive to hear the end of the conversation, and Yuri's soft _thank you_.

"He'll let us in for fifteen minutes," he tells them with a sufficient smile. "You should thank me that he let you in as well."

Yuuri smiles. The door to the unexplored area opens and they step inside. The door closes behind them.

"Thanks, Yura," Yuuri cheerfully says. The tip of Yuri's ears gets red. His only answer is a whispered that's fine that Yuuri doubts he's heard.

They quickly walk the halls that lead to the control room, only to find the door open. Yurio rushes in and waves hello at Otabek without turning to check if Victor and Yuuri got in as well.

"I told you Yura liked you," Victor mutters into Yuuri's ears, giving him all the goosebumps. He wonders if that's also the reason for the butterflies in his stomach.

"I heard that!" Yurio shouts, but protests no more. Again, as soon as they're all inside the room the door closes.

The first thing that catches Yuuri's attention is not the room, but the huge window at its very front. And Yuuri, for the first time in many, many years, is faced with space.

It's nothing and at the same time everything that he remembered. It's infinite and dark, sprinkled with thousands of bright and twinkling stars and colourful nebula in the distance. That, he remembered —he had taken pictures and videos because he kept being amazed by everything—. What he didn't remember, though, and he can't even tell if he even felt like that before, was the call of the vastness. It feels as if the universe was speaking to him, surrounding him with its billions of mysteries and almost engulfing him. Look at me, the universe says. There's a thick and protective window between all that and Yuuri, he knows, but he still thinks that if the universe was to claim him, that window won't probably be of a lot of use.

Once he's able —more or less— to overcome the first impression, he finally can take a look at the room they have entered. It's much smaller than the could have ever guessed, although, after exposing himself to space, everything will probably look small.

Otabek is sitting at the very front, on a chair on the right side of the room and directly facing the window. The chair itself is surrounded by different devices and screens lit in different colours. On both sides of Otabek there are gear sticks and handles, and in front of him there's a control desk. Yuuri can't take the eyes of all the technology surrounding Otabek and is suddenly so thankful to the whole crew.

There's a second chair next to Otabek's. It looks the same, with the only difference that it's empty. That's when Yuuri realizes that nor Mila nor Seung-gil are in the room.

Otabek doesn't turn around to look at them, he just keeps his haze on the screens as he speaks.

"You can look all that you want, but don't touch."

Yurio is already sitting on the first row of seats behind the two main ones. They are only equipped with security belts, but look as comfortable. Yuuri, reticent to move in case he trips with something and presses any button, stays dead-still in front of the door, with Victor still by his side.

"You can sit if you want, you know?" Victor points out.

"I know," he says, but still doesn't move. Victor chuckles.

"Otabek barks but doesn't bite, don't worry."

Otabek looks at Victor from the corner of his eye but doesn't say a thing, he just keeps looking at the screens around him. Yuuri smiles.

Victor takes a step ahead with shining eyes and slowly offers a hand to Yuuri, who, even before he realizes, he's taking it. Victor softly smiles at him and Yuuri's heart leaps in his chest because he will never get tired of the way Victor smiles at him.

He slightly pulls and guides Yuuri toward the second row of seats.

"Where are Babacheva and Seung-gil?" Yuri voices what probably the three of them were thinking. Otabek stays quiet for a while, probably debating on how much information giving them.

"They are leaving the airlock now," he says. "We got a distressed call from a nearby ship and stopped to help. Their communication system is not functioning, but they gave us permission to access the ship and Mila and Seung-gil are going to establish direct contact now." He gets silent again but ends up adding the last bit of information. "Don't need to worry. It's a passenger's ship we have previously had contact with on other occasions."

They all nod, not knowing what to say. Otabek looks calmed, so Yuuri is calmed as well even though this is not his favourite scenario. Yurio starts talking to Otabek, so Yuuri can let his mind roam free again.

It doesn't take him long to realize that his and Victor's hands are still entwined and, for once, he feels confident enough to keep it like that. He carefully gets comfortable in his seat, aware of what Victor's hand is doing to his body temperature. He takes a deep breath —just as his mental freaking out guide advises against— and caresses Victor's hand with his thumb.

He dares to look at their hands for the first time and finds Victor is already staring at them with something that feels like contentment and joy —if Yuuri didn't know him better he would believe his eyes are deceiving him—. Victor squeezes his hand and starts imitating the same patterns that Yuuri is doing.

It's weird, he thinks, how quickly things have changed as soon as they've been honest with each other. How in the matter of a few days they have been able to let loose a train of feelings that they had been caging up probably for months.

Yuuri still doesn't know what Victor's feelings in the matter of relationships are, nor if that's what they'll end up having, but he does now that Victor likes to be by his side, and he made sure to let Victor know Yuuri loves to be by his too. And that's enough for now because he knows as well that his heart can beat faster and get calmed at the same time when they're together. He also knows that Victor's shampoo is customized and smells like jasmine —especially after he used it by mistake— and that Victor kept smelling Yuuri's hair for hours, insisting that Yuuri should keep using it.

He knows all that and, above all, he knows that he enjoys his company and that he wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

"Otabek?" Mila's voice comes from the intercom. "We're heading back."

Otabek connects his headphones to the device and he is the only one able to listen to Mila. Yuuri tries to imagine what the conversation could be about, but only comes up with remote possibilities. Otabek keeps nodding and humming, not a single word coming out of his mouth. Yuuri has almost forgotten what they were doing there, too comfortable for the first time on that day to even think back to his worries.

Everything has turned out well, in the end. Mila and Seung-gil are coming back, Yuuri has learned more about the control room of a spaceship and Victor and him have been holding hands for a while. Otabek has a small frown on his face, but his stance is calmed and there is no sign of trouble in his manners. Yuuri consciously takes a deep breath for the first time in a while and feels that he can relax.

"What?" Otabek mutters, just a little bit louder, a little bit more urgent than his usual tone. That's enough for Yuuri to hold his breath again. "How?" He presses a couple of buttons from the panel on his right and stands up, heading for the door in long steps and still muttering to the intercom. They all remain in their seats, exchanging looks and waiting for any of them to say something.

No one does.

They just listen to Otabek, who is still talking to Mila in the hall in a rushed exchange. He comes back again, his frown a bit more pronounced. The room is so silent that they are even able to make out the sound of Mila's voice through Otabek's headphone, although they're not able to understand what she's saying. It sounds urgent, though.

Yuuri gulps and shivers, but nobody comforts him now, though, and even when he looks around all he can see in the faces of Victor and Yuri is uncertainty and worry. Yes, he definitely can worry now.

"Don't enter the airlock, not yet," Otabek says, and checks again his screens. He looks at them from the corner of his eye and stops. He is about to walk towards them but stops again. He focuses on the screen once more, but finally turns around and talks to them.

"Some technical malfunctioning happened in the other ship and Mila and Seung-gil won't be able to come back yet. I'll appreciate it if you could go back to the habitation area and wait for further news there."

Yuuri can tell just by his expression how much he regrets having let them in the control room before, but there's nothing else he can do now to change that.

"Are the other passengers of the ship safe? Is it solved?" Victor asks as he stands up. Otabek looks at him, conflict clear in his face as he tries to speak. It's the first time that Yuuri has seen Otabek that expressive, and he doesn't really know if he should take it as something positive or not. He finally speaks.

"The other spaceship was empty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA, what's going ooooon? *pretends to be shocked* Two chapters in, three more to go :____ This chapter was SO SO fun to write and I really like how it turned out, I hope y'all liked it as well!!! I love Phichit beyond my possibilities, btw. 
> 
> Fun fact: "Can" means dog in Spanish, so Noah McCan is literally named Noah McDog! *cackles*
> 
> As usual, thanks to you readers so so so so much for giving love to this baby of mine, I hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it <3 *throws kudos at you*
> 
> ps: I forgot to say that chapter 3 will probably be posted on saturday since I'll be travelling on friday!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://owlishann.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/owlishann)!


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all begins and ends at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo! This won't be a long note: the angsty part of this fic begins in this chapter. 
> 
> TW: major character goes missing*, anxiety, a bit of terror and self-deprecating thoughts. 
> 
> *this is the tag that might look like a major character dead but actually isn't. It's really hard to explain, if you want more details there's a summary in the ending notes. Take care, please <3 (and remember there's a happy ending)

Their way back to the habitation area is silent. There are too many questions filling their heads and, for the first time, Victor and Yuri are as silent as Yuuri.

Yurio is walking a few steps ahead of them, has almost reached the door that divides both areas of the ship. Before he can open it, though, he comes to a sudden halt and turns to look at the hallway that opens to his right. He frowns.

"Has that always been there?"

Yurio points at something they can't see yet with a raised eyebrow, and Victor and Yuuri quickly close the distance and follow the direction of Yuri's finger. Then they finally see it.

There's a huge, statue of an angel at the end of the corridor. The figure is hunched and its hands are covering its face, almost as if it was too shy to directly look at them. Yuuri, despite being far from it, takes an unconscious step back, a weird feeling nagging him.

"I definitely have not seen this here before?" Victor, on the opposite, and as curious as he is, gets a bit closer and examines it with a curious eye. Yuuri needs to do his best not to grab him by the shirt and pull him back.

"Maybe Otabek bought it when we stopped to pick up the books and left it here?" Yuuri contributes.

"_Of course_ someone must have left it here, you idiot. It's not like statues can walk by themselves." Yurio approaches the angel as well and softly kicks its robes before turning back. Yuuri lets out what he intends to be a hum of disapproval, but it turns out more panicked than anything. "Once everything is sorted out I'm asking Beka."

And he leaves. Victor begins to follow him but stops when he sees that Yuuri is not moving.

"Yuuri?" Yuuri shakes his head out of his reverie and looks at Victor. He keeps looking at the figure from the corner of his eye, though. There's a feeling, a hidden knowledge, that's rummaging in his brain. He can't put a name to it, but it's bothering him. And he doubts it's his regular anxiety, that one he knows pretty well. "Are you okay?"

"I just-I don't really like that thing. It makes me feel uncomfortable," he mutters as he takes a look at the figure again. Victor tips his head and focuses all his attention in the angel as well, still a few meters away from them.

"It does have a weird feeling to it. Too many horror films before going to bed?" he jokes, and Yuuri's need to defend his honourable taste for horror movies screams louder than his anxiety. It's Victor the one Yuuri looks at from the corner of his eye now.

"Excuse you, but I really enjoy horror films, thank you," he says.

"You do?" Victor asks with wonder in his eyes, and Yuuri nods.

"I do."

Victor keeps looking at him with shiny eyes, and Yuuri definitely isn't expecting what comes next.

"Would you like to go on a horror movie date with me once we're back, Yuuri?"

Yuuri's heart skips a beat. Did he hear that properly?

"Would-Would you like that? With me?" He points at himself with his index, and Victor laughs loudly and takes Yuuri's hands in his.

"Would you like that too with me?"

"I-," Yuuri starts, looking straight at Victor for the first time," I would pretty much like to go on a date with you!"

"Yuuuuuri!" Victor exclaims with a bright heart-shaped smile. "Will you protect me from ghosts?"

And Yuuri genuinely laughs as the tension leaves his body and he lets Victor squeeze him. When he is less expecting it, Victor smooches the tip of his nose. When Yuuri gets happily embarrassed, he flushes pink, and he's quite certain that's the colour filling his cheeks at that very same moment.

"If fighting ghosts is what it takes, I'll do," he whispers. He wants to hide forever in the crook of Victor's neck and at the same time, he also wants to keep admiring how happy Victor's eyes look, how blue they are when they look at Yuuri and how much comfort they bring.

"You'll be my perfect ghostbuster, my Yuuri! I'm sure."

Yuuri can't stop smiling dumbly, and he doubts it's going to stop any time soon before they land on earth.

Something else catches his attention, though.

"Isn't it a bit closer?"

All the warmth and the blush and the smiles are gone the second he looks at the angel again and lets go of Victor's hands. There's the lightest tingling in his nape as he takes a cautious step back. Victor frowns.

"I believe it's in the same spot? Maybe talking about horror movies wasn't the best idea, sorry."

"Maybe?" But Yuuri can't really take his eyes off the sculpture. He swears it's a bit differently positioned, but that couldn't be possible, couldn't it? He gulps. It sounds weirdly familiar but doesn't really remember why.

"Would you like to go back? The more we look at it the weirder it'll look," Victor offers Yuuri his hand again, and Yuuri unhesitatingly takes it. He's not that unhesitant about leaving, though. "Yuuri?"

Yuuri doesn't want to stay there, at all. The sheer sight of the statue makes him sick, almost as if he was looking at a force of nature about to break havoc on them instead of at a sculpture. But that can't be possible, can't it? He can't help it, though, so he lets Victor carry him all the way to the habitation area again. He keeps looking at the angel until they cross the door.

He just wants to get home.

\---

Yuuri's feet are hanging limply from the upper bed of the bunk. The first days he spent in the ship he would do that and get hypnotized by the way the almost imperceptible motion of the ship would rock his legs. Now, though, his feet are still, and no matter how much he looks at them, they won't move. The ship has been stopped in the same place for more than an hour.

"How can a ship be empty?" Yurio is laying on the bed beneath Yuuri horizontally, with his head hanging from one of the sides of the bed. Victor is standing close to the door, with his back to the wall. Neither of them answers the teen. "Oh, come on. Don't be so boring."

"It's not the proper time, Yura," Victor says.

If Yuuri were really listening to Yurio, he would probably be worrying too much about empty ships and mysterious malfunctions, but he is not. He is not listening to whatever answer Yurio gives back to Victor. There's something else bothering him.

He hasn't been able to stop thinking about the angel ever since they went back to the bedroom. Why is he so afraid of a statue? He tries to think back, to register every single bit of knowledge of angel sculptures he might have, but he can only think of old cemeteries in Romantic books that are full of angels looking over the graves. Is that what's making him feel uncomfortable? Thinking about cemeteries?

"Don't be a weepy baby and answer!" Yurio's voice cut through his thoughts and stops him dead in his tracks. Yuuri widens his eyes in half realization and jumps off the bed, barely landing on the floor without tripping. The room becomes silent at his distress.

"No, no. There's no way," he keeps muttering. They have been keeping the intergalactic mythology collection in the desk of the bedroom, so he approaches it and starts going through the different indexes urgently. He doesn't even stop when Victor puts a hand on his shoulder and asks what's going on.

Without Yuuri himself even realizing, tears start to well up in his eyes as he keeps turning page over page, and sooner than later he has found what he was looking for. He drops to his knees, hands shaking and gaze blurred, almost unable to hold himself up.

He leaves the book open on the floor and tries to stand, his back hitting something. Someone. Is it Victor? He knows someone is calling his name, but he can't even bring himself to care. There's only one more thing he can do before he lets his emotions overcome him.

He heads for the door in clumsy steps, looking around him almost in a manic way. Victor and Yuri follow. He doesn't stop until he reaches the door that separates the two areas of the ship, next to the hall where they had found the angel before. He opens it just enough to peek at it, but there's something different now, though.

There's not a single trace of the angel. It's completely gone.

\---

**Volume IV, Chapter XII**

**Weeping angels**

Weeping angels are an extremely powerful predatory race. They resemble stone statues of winged, humanoids angels in chitons and usually have their faces covered by their own hands, thus their name.

They have a unique and nearly perfect defence mechanism: quantum-locking. When a weeping angel is observed it turns into harmless stone, as well as it could happen when it believes is being watched. This is also the reason why they cover their faces: if two angels look at each other they will be permanently quantum-locked. When they are not observed, though, weeping angels can move incredibly fast.

They usually feed on time energy. When a weeping angel touches a living being, they can send them back through time and space, and they would consume the potential energy from the lives their victims would otherwise have led. This is why weeping angels are known for being 'kind' murderous psychopaths, because of the 'mercifully' way they eradicate their victims.

However, when this potential energy paled in comparison to an alternative power source to feed on.

\---

"Otabek? We have a problem. Another problem."

The three of them have gathered in the bedroom again, door locked up and backs guarded. After all of them have got the chance to take a look at the twelfth chapter, the fourth volume of the collection is laying open on the floor, almost as if they were too afraid of what those few, incomplete pages were home to. In the bottom left of the first page, there's a drawing of an angel. It looks terrifyingly similar to the one they have encountered.

Victor stands close to the door, where the intercom is, and tries to contact Otabek. Unsuccessfully. He has been trying to contact the captain for fifteen minutes straight without any answer. Yuuri can't help it, he can't, but he is fearing the worse.

He is pacing the room relentlessly, way paler and shakier than before. And as time goes by and tension climbs up his throat it gets worse. Victor has tried several times already to calm him down, has held his shoulders and squeezed his hands with a reassuring smile —that wasn't reassuring at all—, but Yuuri only has thoughts for a single thing: the monster that's probably waiting for them to go out and ambush them. He keeps pacing.

Yurio heads for the door as well and furiously pushes Victor aside from the intercom.

"Beka?" Yurio whispers, only to unexpectedly raise his voice when no one answers. "For the holy fuck, answer!"

Yuuri shivers and stills, his gaze fixed on Yurio. The room goes silent.

"What?" Yurio spats. "Don't look at me like that."

"Sho-Shouting won't solve anything," Yuuri mutters, chest heaving at the effort of speaking after he gave up on words half an hour before.

"I don't really give a fuck about your thoughts," the teen speaks with contended rage.

"Yura!" Victor, who had been silently staring intercedes as Yurio turns back from the two of them and tries to contact the control room again, each attempt more desperate. "Would you please calm down?"

That has the reverse effect, though, and Yurio turns around again with fire in his eyes and a pointing finger at Victor.

"Calm down?" he shouts, all the thoughts that he had been keeping since they came back spilled in front of them. "Are you really telling me to calm down? And what else, I should sit here and do nothing about all of this until someone comes to our rescue? I should, I don't' know, pace the room and drive all of us crazy?"

"Yura!" Victor exclaims again.

"Don't Yura me! Otabek might be out there with that freaking monster and all that we are doing is trying to call him? Are we going nuts? Even though the only way to contact someone from the outside is from the control room or with one of the devices that are in the control room? Even though we might not get out of this ship if we don't do a thing?"

Yuuri's heart is racing in his chest as Yurio's voice rises up and every possible, horrendous consequence of coming out of that room keeps playing and playing in his head. He needs to gasp for air after those few words almost stab him.

Is it really in their hands to save themselves? Is it? He always thought that greatness was meant for those who were brave enough to achieve it, and he wasn't brave at all. Sure, he could watch horror movies, but how did that determine his bravery? His limbs freeze at the sheer thought of having his own salvation —and the salvation of two more people at least—in his hands. He is not brave enough, he is not brave at all. How could he be able to even think about it?

Especially with a weeping angel being the counterforce.

His knees start shaking, suddenly too aware of the situation. If Otabek is not in the control room, if the angel has touched him and Mila in Seung-gil are trapped in the other spaceship, no one will ever know that they are trapped as well with a weeping angel on board. No one will be able to warn anybody about their situation, and if someone ever finds out, it might be too late.

Something sparks in Yuuri.

"Yuuri…?" Victor mutters.

"The-The angel. It was on the other ship. It touched everyone that was there and ambushed us. That's why the ship was empty." He falls down to his knees, and when he looks up at Victor and Yuri they're pale and frozen as well.

"It… The angel stopped Mila and Seung-gil from coming back so there weren't that many in this ship to stop it?" Victor adds, and suddenly everything clicks.

"I can't," Yuuri mumbles. "I can't, I can't." The sob he had been holding escapes him more desperately now, and he holds his head to stop it from turning and turning. Or is it just his vision?

He can't do it. And he can't breathe. And he can't stand. And above all, he can't be brave, not when he knows they're been purposely hunted.

How is he any help? How is he…?

Victor sits in front of him with a small smile and offering hands, and Yuuri slightly looks up, glasses all wet with tears and nose blotchy. He sniffs.

"May I? Victor mutters, bringing his hands closer to Yuuri's face. Yuuri doesn't really know what he wants to do but nods anyway as tears keep falling slowly down his cheeks.

Victor carefully takes his glasses off, so delicately that it makes Yuuri want to cry harder. He rubs his eyes with desperation and urgency, but he only gets more tears. Victor takes a handkerchief from the pocket of his jeans and cleans Yuuri's tears away, dries his cheeks and brushes his fringe tenderly with his long fingers. He kisses his cheek.

"It's okay to be afraid, Yuuri," he whispers. "It really is."

"But-But-," Yuuri hiccoughs. "What if it touches us? What if we don't make it out of this?"

It's Yurio the one who speaks now.

"Then I'll be gone knowing that I at least tried to save out damn asses." Yuuri stays silent for a second. "And Otabek," he adds in a whisper.

Victor does not reprimand him, does not say a thing. Yurio, Yuuri thinks, can achieve greatness. Victor can, too. They are just like that; charismatic, determined, decisive. Brave. If it were in their hands to save them, they would probably succeed.

Seeing how Victor looks at Yurio, Yuuri realizes that Victor's heart is with the teen, that he really thinks that's the best thing they could do if they want to get out of this place. The following second, Victor is looking at Yuuri with worried eyes and a slight frown, and Yuuri feels the worst being in the whole universe, only followed by weeping angels.

He is nothing but a hindrance to Victor and Yuri. If Yuuri wasn't there, they would have probably been able to leave the room and warn Otabek, and a rescue party would be coming to help. If he was a bit more courageous, he would agree to leave the room instead of being a weeping mess on the floor.

Yuuri doesn't want to leave the room, though. He doesn't want to face whatever is waiting for them outside. But he doesn't want to be left in the room on his own either, not in a moment like this. He could be selfish. He could ask Victor and Yuri not to leave, but he is pretty sure that Yuri would not listen to his plea and would leave the room either way.

And Victor? Victor would have his back against the wall because, whatever he does, he will feel guilty about leaving either Yura or Yuuri behind.

Yuuri could be selfish, he knows. Those are words that he could easily speak: _don't leave me alone_. But he believes he's being selfish enough because, whatever he does, whatever he says, he will be washing his hands of any responsibility he could have in the matter and putting his trust in the fact that Victor and Yuri are capable of saving them all.

Because they're capable of great things.

"Yuuri?" Victor had put his glasses back on a while ago and is worriedly looking at him again, much closer than he was expecting him, and it makes Yuuri flinch. He quickly tries to compose himself even though he feels his insides are shattering. He doesn't want to be selfish.

"It-It's fine." He tries to stand up again, and Victor doesn't hesitate to help him up with both his hands on Yuuri's waist. "I'm fine."

Victor doesn't say anything even though Yuuri's legs are shaking again and his eyes are still shiny. Yurio observes the scene from the door with a frown but doesn't say anything either.

Yuuri has two choices, has always had. To stay, or to leave. In every aspect of his life, those were the two choices that had always chased him and that he, unconsciously or not, had to take. To stay in Japan or to leave. To stay in the university or to leave. To stay in that old place they had rented to build a bookshop or to leave the States and give up on his dreams.

To stay next to Victor or to leave before he got hurt.

To stay in the room or to go out of it.

Yuuri doesn't think he is great when it comes to making choices. He always overthinks and ends up getting swayed by his own indecisive thoughts. That's why when he kneels and grabs the volume on the floor he still doesn't know what's going to come out of his mouth yet.

That's why when he passes by Victor and approaches the door and Yurio he is still shaking.

And, in the end, that's why he tries to smile unsuccessfully when he says, "Shall we go?"

(and that's how he ends up being just a bit selfish)

\---

When Yuuri was a child, he dreamt of weeping angels. He doesn't really remember it, he just knows that he woke up in the middle of the night with shaky hands and the name of his mother on his tongue.

Hiroko took ten seconds to arrive in Yuuri's bedroom, but by that time Yuuri was already weeping uncontrollably in the middle of a panic attack. Hiroko hugged him closely, and Mari and Toshiya didn't take long to arrive as well.

When Yuuri calmed down and they all asked him about his dream, he didn't really know what to say because he didn't really know what he had dreamt about. There was stone, and wings and hands covering faces that, somehow, were still focused on him.

He didn't really know where they came from; someone must have mentioned them, or Yuuri must have read or seen something about them that slipped into his unconsciousness. Mari whispered a name: weeping angels and mentioned something about a fantasy movie she had been watching when Yuuri was half asleep in the same room.

_Weeping angels._

Hiroko scolded her lightly, but the four of them ended up sleeping in Hiroko and Toshiya's bed that night. Yuuri kept sleeping with them for a few weeks until that nightmarish creature and its name had left Yuuri's consciousness.

It isn't that difficult when you're a child, it didn't take him that long, but somewhere deep in his brain a stony angel with covering hands remained forgotten. Until the time arrived to remember it again.

\---

Yuuri knows that stepping out of the room will probably be the easiest part of what's waiting for them, but he can't help but feel that by doing that he has already overcome one of the most daring quests of his whole life. Once the bedroom door closes, though, he can admit undoubtedly that that was nothing compared to the hushed and lonely and maze-like hallways of the ship.

There's not even the low rummaging of the engines filling that claustrophobic space, which is turning more and eerier by the second. It looks exactly the same, the only difference is that there's a creature that could erase their own existence with a touch.

They had come up with a plan. Victor and Yuri had, Yuuri stared and nodded as he tried to keep himself composed. They would head for the control room at all costs, and would only stop if they found any signs that Otabek was still there.

They are walking with their backs to each other to make sure that the angel can't approach them from a blind spot. Victor is at the front and is flanked by Yuuri and Yuri, who are covering him from a side each. They can't look at each other's faces, but Yuuri believes that's better, so they can't see the terror painted in his expression.

His legs tremble at the sight of the empty hallway and he wonders what would happen if he was the one to first encounter the creature. Would he be even able to find his voice and raise the alarm? Would he need to have quick reflexes? Would he be the weak, frightened soul that gets paralyzed with fear and ends up closing his eyes and succumbing to his destiny?

A warm hand slides in his carefully, softly, and intertwines their fingers together. It feels almost as if it had always belonged there. Victor caresses Yuuri's knuckles with his thumb and Yuuri is quite certain that Victor has finally developed the ability to read minds because that's what he seems to be doing lately with him. Yuuri can only answer with a squeeze as they keep moving forward, but that does not discourage Victor, who slightly turns his head without losing sight of what's in front of him and smiles for Yuuri.

And Yuuri knows that if they weren't in that situation he would be melting into a puddle. God, if he wants to senselessly kiss this man until neither of them can breathe.

"The first thing I'm going to do when we arrive home is taking a two-hour salt bath and get an appointment for my pedicure," Victor says and sighs longingly.

"Are you really talking about pedicures now?" Yurio adds, and Yuuri can't see his face, but he's sure he's frowning.

"Yes?" He says this with obviousness.

"Are you a moron, or what?"

"I might be, but at least I'm a happy one."

Yuuri never thought he would be grateful that Yura and Victor were arguing, but he, for once, is. He can see what Victor is doing from a mile: distracting them. But he's also aware that Victor said _when_ instead of _if_.

"Well, when I arrive home I'll eat pirozhki with grandpa," Yurio says, and Yuuri can feel as well how tempting that when sounds.

"What are you going to do when we arrive home, Yuuri?" Victor addresses him now, slightly turning his head again. He hasn't stopped caressing his hand ever since.

"I just want to sleep calmly." He doesn't think when he speaks, but Victor reacts with a chuckle and Yurio huffs.

"Valid," Victor laughs.

Whatever it is that Victor was attempting, he succeeds, because they're already standing in front of the door that separates both areas of the ship.

"Here we go," Victor mutters before opening the door. He gives the last squeeze to his hand before he releases it to open the door. As soon as he has opened it, Yuuri finds it again with desperation, but Victor hushed gasp makes him stop.

A shiver runs down Yuuri's spine and he knows the angel is there even before he sees it. Just feeling how Victor's whole body tenses is enough. He doesn't need to tell Yuri either.

"We just need to keep looking at it, don't we?" Victor asks, and both Yuris nod.

It's curious, how Yuuri knows that there's no more need to keep guarding each other's backs but still hasn't turned around. But doing that would be like looking fear in the face, it would be like being a child dreaming about weeping angels again, with the only difference that he wasn't a child and that the weeping angel wasn't a nightmare anymore.

He could run away, he knows, the door is just in front of him. He might not be useful at all; why would he stay there? He's not brave, he's not brave, he is not brave. And still, when he thinks of Victor and Yurio, he takes a deep breath —closer to a sob— and turns around slowly.

And it's standing there, at the end of the corridor. It's hunched into itself innocently, in the exact same position they had found it earlier, but in a different place. It was almost as if it couldn't do them any harm. If it was only a statue, Yuri would admire the precise carving, the details in the angel's hair and chiton and the majesty of its wings. But it is not, and just laying his eyes on it is making him sick.

"Why is it standing there?" Yurio mutters although silence doesn't matter anymore. But the teen is right, though. The angel is standing in the middle of the hallway that leads to the control room, but instead of facing them, it's looking at the sidewall. Only allowing them to see it from the side.

Victor has a deep frown on his face an is intently looking at the figure, not even answering Yurio's question.

"What should we do?" he asks again. "Is it safe to cross with that thing standing in the middle of the corridor?"

Victor carefully places his right index on his chin and taps it.

"Let's try something. Let's see if it moves when we blink and how close it can get," Victor says in his normal volume, not letting the silence overcome them. "Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you. I'll blink."

Yuuri trusts him with his whole life, and apparently Yuri too, because the teen closes his eyes without protest. Yuuri takes advantage of this and allows himself to examine the boy carefully before closing his eyes himself. He can't help but notice how he's biting his lower lip and how he keeps drying his sweaty hands on his t-shirt. His blonde fringe falls limply over one of his eyes and Yuri doesn't bother to remove it.

"Can I open my eyes again?" he asks with impatience —and something else— tinting his voice.

"Almost," Victor answers, and looks at Yuuri from the corner of his eye. Yuuri nods and closes his eyes, the image of Yurio and his uneasiness stuck. Only a few seconds have gone by when Victor speaks again. "You can open your eyes."

Yurio and Yuuri gasp.

"It didn't move at all?" Yuuri says, wide-eyed. Victor shakes his head.

"And you did it right?" Yuri asks.

"It's not that hard to blink, Yura." The teen mutters a low right.

"What does this mean?" Yuuri eyes the angel with suspicion etched on his face.

"Maybe it's broken," Yurio shrugs, but he still looks quite uncomfortable.

"Weeping angels don't get broken," it's Yuuri's only answer.

The three of them look equally lost and confused about the fact that the creature has not made a single move on them, but Victor takes a step ahead.

"Maybe we could try to enter the control room. It's not moving, and if we keep looking at it, it'll be fine."

A shiver runs down Yuuri's spine when he thinks of passing next to the creature by that more-than-narrow space. He wets his lips, not really convinced about the idea, there's something strong telling him not to do that. But again, it could easily be his fear and anxiety.

He trusts Victor. Victor is brave. Victor knows what to do.

"Right," he mutters, "right."

With careful and slow steps, they start making their way towards the door, each second closer to the angel. Yuuri's eyes feel dry and itchy after fixing them for too long on the figure without barely blinking. He doesn't think he's going to stop despite that.

Victor stands at the very front when they pass by the angel. Yuri follows Victor. Yuuri follows Yuri. Nothing changes, but everything feels different and Yuuri's getting goosebumps.

And, still, nothing happens. They have left the angel behind and are close to the control room door and nothing has happened.

Victor is reaching out for the door when the lights start flickering, though. At first, it's subtle, a quick twinkle. They look up and frown. But then some seconds go by and it's not that subtle. When the lights completely go off they don't even have time to react and it's too late for getting to the door.

Yuuri thinks of this moment as a nightmare in flashes of light. He doesn't really know what he's most afraid of, of the seconds when the lights are on and he can see how close the angel has got, or of the moments when the lights are off and the certainty that the angel is moving towards them, unstoppable, is crystal clear.

In the havoc, they run. They don't know where they're going, just know that they're trying to avoid a destiny that doesn't belong to them. But the angel always follows, and every step they take, the angel seems to have taken two. Victor grabs his hand, and Yuuri grabs Yurio's hand, and pull and _run run run_. Victor hits a wall, though, and Yuuri hits Victor.

But Yurio doesn't hit anyone.

Yuuri's hand is suddenly empty.

He turns around and in between flashes he can see Yuri laying on the ground, paralyzed by fear and with a stony figure almost hovering over him.

"Yura!" Yuuri shouts. "Yuri, move! We're right behind you, move!

But Yuri seems to be deaf to everything, only has terrified eyes for the monster. Yuuri takes a step ahead instead of back, doesn't really know how, but a sudden tug at his other hand makes him turn around and a feathery kiss on his cheek, close to the corner of his lips, makes him freeze in place.

He knows the following events happen fast, really, really fast. And, still, he thinks of them as the slowest and most anguishing experience he's ever lived.

His other hand, where he was nesting Victor's hand, is empty as well. For some reason he can't really understand, he stares at it in confusion. He is supposed to find Victor's hand there, he knows.

He frowns.

"Victor?" he mutters.

The lights turn on.

Victor has grabbed Yuri by the armpits and is pulling him away from the angel. He is crying.

The lights turn off.

"Yura run! Run!"

Yurio runs until he hits Yuuri whole bodily. Yuuri holds him tight and places the teen behind him.

The lights turn on.

Victor is running toward them with an expression Yuuri had never hoped to see in his face. Fear. He reaches out for his as he keeps his eyes focused on the angel, their fingertips almost touching.

The lights turn off.

The lights turn on.

The angel is smiling at them.

Victor is nowhere to be found.

The lights keep flashing, on and off, and the angel keeps moving, but everything feels dull and silent and weird, almost as if they were in a different reality that didn't belong to them.

Yuuri stands tall, though, with tears prickling in his eyes in a concoction of disbelief and pain. He keeps holding Yuri, uses himself as a shield between the teen and the creature until they hit a wall again.

Yuuri breathes.

"It's going to be fine," he mutters to Yuri with a calmness he didn't know he had, with an act of courage that probably belongs to someone else. And with that courage, he faces his end.

For the first time, he looks at the creature without doubting, without fear. He stares at it with all his might and confidence and the desire to protect Yuri. And he really sees the angel for the first time.

It's not covering its face anymore, it's defiantly looking at Yuuri with, at last, a monstrous appearance. With sharp teeth and savage eyes, with hair all messy and hands like claws. And it's closer, every time the light goes off it's closer, but Yuuri doesn't look away. He talks to Yuri instead.

"Try to run for the control room the next time that the light goes on. I'll look at it, it won't touch you."

He can feel how Yurio nods behind him. The back of his shirt is damp because Yurio hasn't stopped crying since he fell.

"I'm sorry," he mutters. "I'm sorry."

"Shhhh," Yuuri answers. "It wasn't your fault. None of what's happened is. And if it touches me," he says a little bit lower, "it wouldn't be either." Yuri fists Yuuri's already rumpled and damp shirt as he chokes up a sob. "Hey, you'll be fine."

The angel is only a few meters away, so he dares to take a quick look at Yurio as he smiles.

"But you won't, you asshole!" he shouts. "And that-that idiot… _He_ won't be either."

Yuuri's vision gets all cloudy with tears, but he still holds on. He tries to hide them, but when he speaks his voice betrays him.

"It's not like we can do much now, huh?" he whispers brokenly as the light goes off again.

Yuri is about to answer, but they hear a metal noise and, suddenly, the wall behind them disappears and they fall back until they hit the ground. The wall closes again.

Yuuri hears what's happening before he sees it.

"Be-Beka?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: there's a weeping angel in the ship. It chases Yuuri, Victor and Yurio and ends up touching Victor and sending him to the past when he was trying to protect Yurio (both Yuuri and Yura witness this).
> 
> (If you haven't read the chapter yet and don't know what a weeping angel is or how it looks like you can click [here](https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Weeping_Angel)!
> 
> I'm... sorry? (I'm actually not that sorry for writing this, only for making people sad). I absolutely promise that this is the angstiest chapter of all five. There is hope in the following one and we get closer to the happy ending!!! I cried writing the last part of this chapter, if that's any consolation.
> 
> This chapter was written in Berlin's public transport, an attic and a plane. Shoutout to all of these places. Shoutout to you readers as well for giving this fic a chance, I appreciate it so much (comments are also appreciated!!!!). If you feel that I didn't do a tag for something triggering, please, let me know. I've been re-reading this and thinking of tags that could be triggering, but I might be missing some.
> 
> As usual, you can find me on [tumblr](http://owlishann.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/owlishann)!


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets better, though, it always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo!!! Quick TW: dealing with guilt and loss and in general with that thing that happened at the end of last chapter, so there's be a lot of feelings.

"Be-Beka?" Yurio murmurs as soon as he can escape Yuuri's body on top of his. "What…?"

Yuuri manages to raise his head in time to see how Yuri rushes toward his friend and hugs him with all his might. Otabek hugs back with the same devotion as he softly caresses Yurio's hair.

"Why-Why haven't you answered our calls? We thought…" Yurio's voice slowly dies down before he can finish the sentence. He hides his head on Otabek's shoulder instead.

"That thing found me even before you could even warn me," he mutters. "I'm sorry."

But Yurio abruptly raises his head and stares and his friend with intensity.

"Not your fault," he starts, but even before he can continue, though, Otabek lets out a pained hiss at the sudden movement. Yurio quickly stands in fear, but it's quite obvious what's wrong with Otabek.

His left foot is in an awkward position, Yuuri notices as soon as he takes a closer look at him. Otabek catches his eye.

"I think it's broken," Otabek adds, and Yurio kneels in front of the captain with a worried frown. "The door closed on my foot. I activated the emergency closing mechanism too fast."

Both Yuuri and Yurio flinch at the sheer thought of the accident.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Yuuri asks. He still hasn't moved from the spot he fell at when the door opened.

"Medical equipment is in the control room and in the lounge. I don't think that's a safe move right now, it can wait."

"But…" Yurio starts.

"Yura, hey. It's fine. It's gonna be fine." Otabek murmurs and, for five seconds, they both believe him.

But silence quickly fills the room, and a question that remained unpronounced quickly makes it way through.

"Victor?" Otabek dares to ask, probably fully aware of the consequences that might have, but at the same time almost obliged to ask it. Yurio avoids his eyes, and Yuuri tries to find comfort in his hands, but then remembers the last thing they hold onto. He quickly shakes his head as he tries his best to repress all the feelings drowning him.

It feels surreal, distant. Has that really happened to them, or to someone else? Are they even talking about the same person? About the same events? Violent flashbacks keep playing in his head relentlessly. Lights on. Lights off. Victor running. Victor letting go of his hand. It feels like a movie.

That could not have happened to him. He's probably going to wake up and realize everything has been a bad dream. They never got into that spaceship, he's just dreaming again of weeping angels. That's all.

It's going to be fine. Victor's going to be right next to him when he wakes up. They're going on a date, right? His chest feels heavy with a realization that doesn't quite sit.

"It was my fault." Yurio, who had been quiet the whole time, has turned his back on them and is speaking with his gaze fixed on the wall. "If I had just fucking reacted before he would be here with us instead of-instead of-"

All the air in Yuuri's lungs suddenly leaves him and he finds himself half-choking with a fact he doesn't want to accept. Yurio stands.

"I don't even know what is he right now, fuck!" His voice wobbles and his whole body shakes to it. Yurio hugs himself. "Is he- Is he dead?"

"Yura, listen to me…" Otabek starts, stretching his hand to try and touch the teen, but Yurio takes a step ahead and distances him enough that Otabek can't reach him.

Yuuri watches the scene from ever the same spot in the room. He's dead still, eyes widened and a weird pressure threatening to crush his chest. He can't move, he can't react. Is he even there?

He sees Otabek looking at Yurio from the floor with a miserable face as he tries to get closer to the teen, and sees Yurio, who looks small, smaller than he actually is, breaking into a sob that shakes his whole body. He sees everything, but he's not there. He can't be there, right?

"Yuuri!" Otabek shouts at him and Yuuri snaps a bit out of his trance and looks the captain in the eye with confusion.

"What?" he mutters, completely disoriented. His eyes roam around the small room and go back to Otabek. Otabek is searching for something in his face with desperation, and Yuuri wonders what face he's making.

"Did I just kill him?" Yurio mutters as he turns around. He stares at Yuuri with desperation, as if expecting an accusation from Yuuri's silence. Is Yuuri accusing him? That's the face he's making? Yuuri realizes Yurio is looking at him from below and can't bring himself to remember when did he stand up. "Answer me! You were there too, weren't you? You saw the same thing I saw!"

Yurio approaches Yuuri menacingly and grabs him by the shoulders, and all Yuuri can think of is how green Yura's eyes are because of the tears he's shedding.

"Say something!" Yuri shouts as he shakes Yuuri from the shoulders.

"I-I-" Yuuri stutters as he begins to feel lightheaded.

"Yura!" Otabek exclaims from the floor. Being called that nickname seems to have some effect on the teen because his grasp on Yuuri weakens and his eyes widen. "Stop."

"Don't-Don't" his voice shakes, "don't Yura me."

Those words seem to impact Yuuri as much as the nickname impacted the teen, and he finds himself going back to a memory that only happened some hours ago even though it looks from a different decade. And, for the first time since Victor disappeared, Yuuri finds himself in his own body, feeling his own feelings.

He dares to hold at last Yurio's gaze and surprises himself with the realization of knowing they're thinking of the same moment, of the same implications. Of loss. Of guilt. Of Victor.

A sob breaks him from the inside as the wave of capsuled feelings is partly released and, finally, he takes in the weight of the words Yurio is speaking. He softly grabs Yurio's wrists from his own shoulders and lowers them, so delicately that the teen barely realizes. Yurio keeps looking at him with hurtful eyes, the very same eyes Yuuri knows he's bearing.

As tears keep coming down uncontrollably, Yuuri releases Yurio's wrists and dares to hold him in his arms. The teen's body quickly changes from limp to resistant, but Yuuri doesn't let him go.

"I don't deserve this," Yurio mutters as he fights against the hold. Yuuri keeps crying even though he closes his eyes. "I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"Yura," he mutters, voice shaky and so, so vulnerable, "Yura there's nothing to forgive."

"But there is!" Yuri shouts, turning his head to a side to avoid looking at Yuuri. "It was my fault!"

"He-He would have done the same even if he knew he was going to-to _disappear_." Yuuri needs to stop to take a breath as the sobs become more violent. "He wanted to save you!"

"What if I didn't want to be saved?!" Their voices keep going higher and higher, almost as if they were able to drown their thoughts that way. "What if he deserved to be here more than me?"

Yuuri stills, the question taking him by surprise. But, again, Yurio surprises him when he finally falls limply into Yuuri's chest and lets himself be hugged.

"You don't need to answer," he mutters against Yuuri's shoulder, and Yuuri, with widened eyes and endless tears, slowly surrounds the teen with his arms. "I just-I just don't want to live with this guilt forever. I-I don't want to remember he gave his life for mine."

It's the first time that Yurio is so raw with his feelings, so direct and honest, and Yuuri can only begin to imagine the weight of his guilt. He hugs him tight and, to his surprise, Yuri grabs Yuuri's already rumpled t-shirt by the sides and gets a bit closer.

"Will you forgive me?" he mutters again, and Yuuri lets out a gasp.

"I-I have nothing to forgive, Yura." Yura does look at him now and Yuuri suddenly gets all the implications of his words. _It's my fault you won't be together_. But, still, Yuuri has nothing to forgive, not at all. "It wasn't your fault," he mutters unhesitantly.

Yuuri feels guilty as well. So guilty. If only he had held onto Yurio's stronger. If only he had helped Victor get the teen up. If only he had run faster. He's not admitting it out loud now, though, he doesn't want to turn Yuri's pain into his own, but he can feel the thought stalking him, accusing him. _He'd be here if you were better_. He caresses Yura's hair.

"He'd done the same for you," Yurio mutters, and Yuuri breaks all over again.

No less than ten minutes have passed when Yurio uncomfortably coughs and gets away from Yuuri's hold. Yuuri can't avoid a tiny smile. Victor would have laughed. A pang of pain echoes in his heart at the thought, but it stings in a different place than an hour ago.

Yurio clears his voice.

"What are we going to do now?" he asks, looking at Otabek —and at his foot—. "We can't just get out of here, that thing- It can do that damn thing with the lights, and…"

_On. Off. On. Off_. Yuuri shivers. Yurio shivers too.

"No," he mutters with his eyes fixed on the door that had saved their lives. "We-We can't."

They look at each other, and then at Otabek again. Yuuri realizes then that he has no idea where in the ship they are, other than out of the habitation area.

"Where are we, by the way?" he asks.

"In the small storehouse. We usually keep more valued merchandise here 'cause the door is camouflaged with the rest of the walls and only those who know where it is can open it." 

"Are we close to the control room?" Yuuri inquires, and Otabek nods his head.

"Either way, getting to the control room is easier than you think." Both Yuuri and Yuri frown, and Otabek keeps talking. "There's an emergency exit that gets downstairs and connects directly to the control room from below." He looks at his right, where a heavy-looking box has been slightly moved. "I've tried to open it, but I can't do much with my foot like this."

Yuuri gets closer to it and tries to push the box with effort. When he has finally cleared the space, he finds a closed trap door beneath it. Yurio approaches it as well and opens it carefully, looking carefully through it.

There's a ladder about three meters tall.

"We're not leaving you behind," Yurio says as soon as he sees Otabek's face. "We're not splitting again."

Otabek frowns, ready to argue, but Yuuri is faster.

"I'll carry you, it'll be fine if we go slowly. Yura's right, we're not leaving you behind."

Otabek is quick to nod.

\---

They arrive at the control room in less than twenty minutes and without any accident. Yuuri carried Otabek on his back, being careful that his injury didn't get any worse and, slowly, they reached their destination.

Once they're inside, Yuuri places Otabek on his chair. He chooses to sit next to Yurio, in the first row of seats and avoids at all costs the space he had shared with Victor not so many hours ago. They observe Otabek in silence.

The room remains eerily the same. They had only been there a few hours before and realizing that nothing had changed outside yet so many things are different inside them is disconcerting and unnerving. Everything is in the same place, lit by the same light, the same colour. The universe still calls him. Everything is the same but seems different, everything is the same but them.

Otabek manages to contact some reinforcements, and their answer is immediate. The closest union is only a few hours away. If everything goes well, they'll be going home in a couple of hours.

Without Victor.

Yuuri wonders if there's anything to celebrate in that.

Otabek takes the intercom he had long forgotten before he had to run away from the angel and speaks to it. He rubs his forehead. That's the first sign of tiredness that the captain has allowed himself since they left Earth.

"Seung-gil? Mila?" he asks, and the answer only takes a few seconds.

"Beka!" Mila exclaims on the other end of the line. Otabek doesn't even bother to put on the headphones. "Oh my god, we were so worried. What's happened? Everything fine?"

And Otabek begins to explain. When he is done, he is clear and direct when he orders both of them to remain on the other ship until someone comes to the rescue. He doesn't want to risk any more lives. They remain silent for some seconds.

"Then," Seung-gil finally says, "that's the reason the airlock was blocked. That's how the angel must have accessed our ship, it used the unlocked airlocks and blocked them to avoid we came back."

"And that's the reason why the other ship was empty," Otabek adds, and Yuuri has reminiscences of a conversation they have already had.

"Are you fine?" Mila whispers, and Otabek takes a quick look at Yuri and Yuuri.

"I'm fine. I got my ankle broken, but I'll take care of it now. Yura and Yuuri are here with me, they're also fine. We blocked the door and disabled the electricity source, so it's more like a wall now. The chances of the angel entering are few."

Mila is probably nodding, Yuuri thinks as he looks at Otabek. He feels the absence of Victor's name, the implication that that has, and a hole he still hadn't realized he had in the chest is suddenly painfully obvious.

Yura is still a bit shaky by his side. He keeps worrying his lower lips and his eyes are still red and swollen, so almost unconsciously, Yuuri lays a steady hand on his knee. Yurio doesn't look at him, he just nods his head instead. _I still allow you to touch me_, Yuuri thinks he'd say if he spoke.

"Update us with any new information you get. See you soon." Those are Seung-gil's last words and, suddenly, everything is unbearably silent again, even though it's only a few seconds between Otabek cutting the connection and him starting to speak again.

"Yura, would you like to help me with my ankle? The emergency kit is under your sit and I could use a hand."

"Sure," the teen answers as he gets to his feet, grabs the kit and approaches Otabek.

Yuuri lets out a relieved sigh. Despite the teen looks a bit more composed, he's deathly worried about him. He's seen his face, his shakiness. He's seen his eyes. The teen can definitely use that distraction.

Yuuri is pretty sure that Otabek can immobilize his foot on his own, and confirms that when the captain locks eyes with him and nods when Yurio is not looking. Yuuri nods back.

He takes advantage of Yurio being too busy with Otabek to look at the teen for a while. Yuuri now realizes he's made a mistake. From the very start, he thought Victor and Yurio weren't afraid, he thought they were brave and able to get them out of this mess. But he was wrong. He remembers how Victor looked at him right before the angel touched him. He was _terrified_. He remembers the look of horror in Yurio's face before Victor saved him.

They were holding up as much as himself, and he had ended up putting a weight on their shoulders that he hadn't realized he had put.

And, as unexpected as it might look, the one who had ended up stepping up in front of Yurio to protect him has been no other than Yuuri himself. He can't really take any pride in that, for all that he feels is grief. The price he's paid to realize this has been losing Victor.

He would rather live without knowing.

Once Otabek's foot is wrapped in bandages and immobilized —as best as one can do with the basic resources and knowledge— Otabek lets Yuri sit in Mila's chair and press some buttons.

"What's this one for?" he asks as he hovers his index finger above a silver, square-shaped button that stands out.

"No," is Otabek's plain answer. Yuri intensely holds his gaze for some seconds, but he ends up shrugging and diverting the attention to a different one.

Yuuri smiles, knowing that Otabek, along with Yuri's grandfather, is probably one of the only two people in the world that can manage this without getting into a fight. Yuuri is relieved that Otabek is here with them, he wouldn't have known what to do if Yura had lost two of the most important persons in his life today.

He's so deep in thought that he only realizes that one of the screens in front of the teen has lighted up when Yurio shoots his arms up with a horrified face and exclaims,

"Whoah! I swear I didn't touch a thing!" Otabek eyes him —is that a funny look?—.

"You did nothing," he says, and Yuri lowers his arms. "Someone is trying to contact us."

Both Yuris look at the screen with furrowed eyebrows at the same time, and as soon as the captain presses a button, the image is projected into the front window. It's black for a second, but soon they can see who has been trying to reach them.

"Phi-Phichit?" Yuuri mutters, a completely new wave of feelings sweeping his ribcage. Phichit looks around the room and finally lays his eyes on his friend.

"Hello," he starts, but Yuuri knows there's something wrong the moment his friend starts worrying his lower lip.

"What happens?" He asks the question with panic even before Phichit confirms his suspicions, but they are quite used to that, aren't they? Phichit sighs and fidgets with a piece of paper he's holding.

"It's… not about me. I-I was gonna ask about Victor…"

"What?" Yuuri whispers, shocked.

The three of them widen their eyes. It's impossible that Phichit knows anything about what's happened. Otabek hasn't even told the reinforcements that Victor was gone.

"Am I right then? Something happened to him?" Yuuri doesn't know how, but he manages a nod. "And… Does-Does it have to do with weeping angels?"

At this point, his voice is barely audible, but Yurio suddenly gets up from the chair. Yuuri can only watch.

"How do you know? We haven't told anyone!" the teen spats. Phichit doesn't answer.

"Phi-Phichit, how do you know?" Yuuri's voice breaks all over again, but somehow he manages to keep looking at Phichit. Phichit looks straight at him.

"I… left the shop for lunch and when I came back I found someone had left a book on the doormat with my name written on it. It was weird, but no one was around and it looked interesting, so I started reading it. I've been reading it for the whole afternoon." He looks again at the sheet of paper he's holding. "It was… a book on weeping angels."

"What?" Yuuri gasps.

"And when-when I reached the end I found a note stuck to the last page?"

"What did it say?" Yurio intercedes when he sees that Yuuri doesn't ask. Phichit stops fidgeting with the paper and raises his hand in front of the camera until they all can read it clearly.

_ Tell them I'm fine, _

_ Victor _

Yuuri speaks after a whole minute has passed by.

"Does… Can that make sense? Does that mean what it means?" It feels as if suddenly he wants to float and let go of anything and finally breathe, but there's also a string pulling back. _Don't hold onto hope that soon. Don't have faith yet. Don't let it hurt you again._

"I don't know," Phichit mutters. "I-I guess so?"

"What?" Yurio looks at Phichit first, then at Yuuri, and then at Phichit again. "What does that mean?"

"It means that Victor might still be alive in our time," Phichit simply says, and Yurio widens his eyes. His mouth falls open. "And on Earth."

"What?!" he repeats, this time more urgent. Yuuri's legs feel so weak and shaky that he needs to sit back again.

"Yeah," he whispers, "yeah."

"But-But how? Can that happen?" Oppositely to Yuuri, Yurio gets closer to the screen and locks eyes with Phichit.

"If the angel sent him to a relatively close date, yes, it is possible. It's not… common. But it's possible." The exchange between Yurio and Phichit is quick, demanding, but not enough.

"Then… That means he's going to be older than when… When he disappeared?" His voice slowly dies down and silence reigns in the room again. A silence that's meaningful enough to answer the teen's question.

Suddenly, everything has a new light and new implications. But Yuuri doesn't want to believe, not yet.

"Phichit." Yuuri's voice cuts through all the silence, through all the doubts. Suddenly, everybody is looking at him, but for once he's not afraid to speak up. He needs to know. He needs to believe. "Can we try to track Victor down? I just need to make sure, I wouldn't be able to…" Yuuri pauses and takes a breath. "Can we do that?"

Yuuri lacks air again, but if there's a chance, he wants to go along with it. Victor deserves it. Phichit's answer only takes a few seconds to arrive.

"I'm on it."

In the end, both Otabek and Phichit end up going through various of their devices at the same time searching for any hint about Victor. The pace is infernal, and the tension palpable, but they don't stop.

Half an hour goes by quickly, though, and they still haven't come up with any results. Otabek, who normally is patient and silent, is softly tapping the floor with his good foot. Yuuri thinks his heart is close to his throat and that, if he coughed hard enough, he could probably throw it out. He bits his nails instead.

Phichit, his image still projected on the front window, gives out the captain's same aura.

"I can't find a thing, there's nothing." Phichit huffs as he closes his eyes, visibly nervous. They're doing their best to find anything about a different Victor Nikiforov that is at the same time the same, but all they get are articles about Victor and his gallery, about Victor and his job, about a Victor Nikiforov who was born on December 25th, 2489 and should be turning 28 this year.

And that's not what they're looking for.

"What if it was just a prank?" Yuuri starts. "What if-What if it isn't him?" He worries his lower lip as he regards every single possibility.

"No one knew about that. It's only been hours, it's impossible," Yurio answers. "It must really be him, right?" He throws a questioning look at Phichit, who stares and doesn't know what to answer back.

Otabek interrupts him either way.

"I think I found something," he mutters in between the sudden chaos, and the room becomes silent again. All eyes are now set on him, who's carefully reading something on the screen. They all wait for him to speak again. "I believe this is an adoption certificate of…" He squints at the screen. "A dog? Yeah, a poodle, in 2488. It's signed by a Victor Nikiforov."

Yuuri's heart is doing things that a normal heart shouldn't be doing and he probably should be worrying about it, but his head is caught up in the new piece of information. Could it be possible?

"It still could not be him," Yuuri whispers, reticent, but this time his heart is closer to a totally different place.

"Dog was named Makkachin." 

They all look at each other in silence, not really knowing what to say. But, for once, Yuuri does.

"It's him." Yuuri doesn't realize he is talking until he notices everyone is looking at him.

"And you know that because…" Yurio raises an eyebrow. Yuuri struggles to find his words again, but in between stutters he manages to speak.

"He-He told me. A few days ago. He-We were talking and he told me. That he wanted to adopt a dog and name it Makkachin. I…" He buries his face in his hands for a second and then combs his hair back with his fingers. "I don't want to have hope, but there can't be that many coincidences, right?"

"I don't think so," Phichit mutters.

"Then… Then that note you got. It's real. Victor… He is fine…" Yurio sits next to Yuuri as he worries his lower lip. "He is… alive?"

"He-He is," Yuuri says. He looks at Yurio. "Yura he's alive, he's fine." An involuntary laugh escapes his mouth and he quickly covers his mouth. Yurio takes a deep breath and widens his eyes, which quickly drown in tears.

"Yeah." He furiously rubs his eyes even before tears fall down, and Yuuri just pretends he hasn't realized. The teen lets out through the nose a long relieved sigh. "Just… a bit older, right?"

Yuuri had made the calculation as soon as Otabek had said the year out loud. Victor would be at least fifty-six years old if he happened to have been sent to 2488. Even older if he was sent to an earlier date.

But all Yuuri cared about was about Victor being safe, even though a pang of guilt yearns for all the years Victor has had to spend on his own. An absurd thought crosses his mind, and he finds himself thinking about how his life with Victor would be if they were together in that past. When he looks up, he finds Phichit is staring at him, but he quickly looks away and answers Yurio's question.

"Yes," Phichit says, and Yurio nods.

"I guess… I'll call him grandpa now." He tries to smile but ends up huffing and sitting again on Mila's chair, next to Otabek. Otabek eyes him with raised eyebrows, probably a silent question. _How are you?_ And Yurio shakes his head and holds his gaze for some seconds. They both nod.

"Yuuri?" Phichit says, and snaps Yuuri out of his reverie just in time to see how Phichit hides a panicked expression behind a mask of worry. "Can I talk to you? In private? It's bookshop related."

Yuuri knows it's not bookshop related, but he nods anyway and stands up. Otabek grabs one of his tablet-sized devices and transfers Phichit's image from the window. He hands Yuuri both the device and some headphones and turns back to Yurio as soon as Yuuri has everything he needs.

Yuuri sits as far as he can from Yura and Otabek and puts on the headphones.

"What…?" he starts, but Phichit interrupts him.

"Yuuri there's something I haven't told you about all this." Phichit rubs his face exhaustedly, the trace of the last hours clear in his expression.

"Why-Why aren't you telling them as well?" Yuuri frowns and eyes Otabek and Yura.

"I don't want them to know." He sighs. "I'm not sure if I want you to know either."

"Why?" His urgency is clear in his voice, in how he intonates the question, in the way he runs out of air. Phichit doesn't delay his answer anymore.

"There's a way you can find young Victor again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAND ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO AAAAA *runs in circles*
> 
> This chapter took too long to write and hurt me psychologically and physically. I'm sorry if some parts feel a bit off, but this is definitely the hardest chapter I've ever had to write because of all the feelings and reactions :____
> 
> I hope y'all liked it and found some relief in learning that our vitya is safe and sound (!!!!). As usual, thanks so so much to everyone who's reading and giving love to this lil' beast, I hope the fic is giving you some love back!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://owlishann.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/owlishann)!


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understand, I'll slip quietly  
away from the noisy crowd  
when I see the pale  
stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.  
I'll pursue solitary pathways  
Through the pale twilit meadows,  
With only this one dream:  
You come too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: description of a nightmare
> 
> AAAA, I said on twitter I was going to post this on Saturday cause I thought my internet connection was going to be hell, but it turns out it's only awful and I can work with it to upload this :') 
> 
> Before you read: thank you <3

When Yuuri was a child, he dreamt of weeping angels. It was just a bad dream, a nightmare that haunted him for weeks until the thought of the winged figure drifted away from his mind and the cold touch of the statue was replaced by Hiroko's warm arms.

He had always told his parents that he didn't remember what the dream was about, that he only recalled the stalking shadow of the creature and its wings looming his tiny body, over his horrified eyes. But that wasn't true. He remembered every single detail, every single colour and, especially, every single second he thought he was going to die.

He was just scared that if he said it out loud it would get real. But, wasn't it going to get real anyway?

Yuuri was standing in a narrow corridor of crimson red floors and eggshell white walls. He was wearing his pyjamas, but his feet were bare and he could feel the texture of the fabric that made up the carpet. The small crimson fibres kept getting in between his toes and made him ticklish. Yuuri couldn't stop chuckling.

As he began to walk, he focused his eyes on the trail that his steps were leaving on the carpet behind him, the red turning ever darker where his foot had left its phantom footprint.

And then he looked up.

He was a few meters away from a closed door, apparently the only way out of the corridor. It looked exactly like his bedroom door, it even had that tiny scratch that Yuuri and Mari had accidentally made when they were playing. Nevertheless, he had never seen the corridor before, it definitely didn't belong to his house. Yuuri frowned and turned around to check how the other end of the corridor looked like, but he just found himself facing the exact same door. Almost as if he hadn't turned around. And then again, and again, and again every time he turned.

A rustle behind him —in front of him?— caught his attention, so he checked again. There was something else apart from the door this time: a breath-taking sculpture of an angel. It was magnificent, almost regal, an angel with spread wide wings wearing a carefully carved chiton. Its face, though, was impossible to see, for it was covered with the angel's own hands.

But Yuuri didn't want to see it. The simple sight of the figure overwhelmed him that much that he had the urgent need to stop looking at it, but when he turned around he found that the curse that was affecting the door was over the angel too: there it was, in front of the twin door, in the same position. There was a difference, though, it was a step closer to Yuuri now. Why did it move if it was only a statue?

Yuuri slowly looked over his shoulder to the other side. Maybe if he was subtle the angel wouldn't notice and he would be able to escape. It didn't work, the angel was there again, closer.

And Yuuri's frenzy began again. He kept turning around once and again, unable to keep the angel on his back unwatched. Nevertheless, no matter how quick Yuuri turned, the angel was closer, closer, closer.

In the end, Yuuri ended up ducked against a wall, both the door and the angel suddenly turned into one, but so close to him that the double curse didn't matter anymore. That was when Yuuri was struck with the disturbing thought of knowing that, as soon as he closed his eyes, his end will arrive.

That was when a lonely lightbulb that Yuuri hadn't seen before appeared over his head shining red.

"Red light, red light, red light!" Yuuri shouted, remembering how his sister always stayed still when they were playing that game and Yuuri chanted the verse and turned around to stop his sister from getting closer. "Don't move!"

It was in vain, though, because the light turned green and the angel uncovered its face in the nick of one of Yuuri's blinks. The green light kept flickering and flickering.

"Red light!" Yuuri shouted again from the top of his lungs, but the lightbulb flickered green for one last time before the corridor got swept by the shadows.

Then, the angel touched Yuuri.

But it was just a dream, right?

\---

"There's a way you can find young Victor again."

Yuuri blinks at the image of his friend in confusion.

"What-What do you mean with that?" Phichit takes a deep breath before answering.

"What you just heard."

Yuuri takes some seconds to process what Phichit is just telling him, but there's still something that doesn't fit.

"And… why are you telling only me?" His voice has turned into a whisper. "If there's a way, why aren't you telling…?" And instead of saying Otabek and Yuri's names out loud he looks at them from the corner of his eye.

"They don't need to know." Yuuri opens his mouth to replicate, but Phichit is faster. "Look, I couldn't get this out of my head and I wasn't even sure if I should let you know. Just, please, listen to me." Phichit's eyes are begging in a way that Yuuri has never seen before, close to sadness and despair, and that automatically silences him.

"Go on," he mutters with a knot in his stomach.

"I've been reading that book on weeping angels I found today at the door, and-and there's a feature… The author talks about a singular feature of their power." Phichit is struggling to keep talking, Yuuri notices, but still allows him time to find his words. "They sort of work like a portal! The angels, they are always connected to the same spot in time and space, same date, same everything." Phichit pauses again, this time to look at Yuuri with intent. Yuuri gulps. "Whoever they touch, no matter where or when they are, is sent to the same place, to the same date."

"Are you-are you implying that if…" Yuuri makes sure that Yurio and Otabek are not eavesdropping, and lowers his voice until it's nothing more than wind rustling between the trees of a forest. Then he keeps going. "If I let that thing touch me… I'll be sent to the exact same place Victor is right now?"

Phichit nods and when he looks back at Yuuri there's determination in his eyes.

"That means that you have until you are rescued to make the choice. If the angel is gone, so is your chance to go with Victor."

The rawness of Phichit's words stabs Yuuri in his very heart, and a gasp of air escapes his chest the say way it would have done if he had been kicked on his stomach. He locks eyes with Phichit, mouth still open, and sees his own image mirrored in Phichit.

"Phichit," he whispers. Phichit closes his eyes and worries his lower lip.

"I didn't want to lose you," he says, eyes still closed. When he opens them they're full of tears. "But then I saw your eyes before and I understood that if you got the chance you'd take it. I could offer it to you, and…" Some tears fall down his cheeks, but he quickly wipes them away. "And I didn't want you to come back home without knowing this. I'm sorry."

"You-You don't have to be sorry!" Yuuri feels his heart on his hand as speaks. That might be the reason he feels he lacks everything.

"Don't cry weepy baby," Phichit says half laughing half crying. It's only then that Yuuri realizes he's crying too.

"Speaks the one who's weeping," he answers back as composedly as he can —which isn't really much—. They look at each other again for some second and they find out they have nothing more to say, nothing more to think about.

"You're going, aren't you?"

And Yuuri hasn't had much time to think about it, he's, in fact, stuck again between the same choice as always: to stay or to leave. This time, though, Phichit's words have brought a sense of peace to his heart that not many things have managed before, so this time there's no doubt in his voice when he answers.

"I am."

Phichit just nods.

"I'll put those books to good use in your place for that Noah McCan of yours!" Phichit tries to joke, and the closest thing to a smile that Yuuri has seen since he called earlier flowers in his face. But, instead of the wanted effect, Phichit's words make something click in Yuuri's brain. Yuuri widens his eyes and his mouth falls open. "Yuuri? Are you okay?"

"Phichit, I…" Yuuri looks at the opposite side of the seats, where the volume of the collection they took before leaving the bedroom still lays, and has a revelation. "Phichit I think I need to take the books back with me again."

"Why would you…?" he starts, but he suddenly shouts his mouth close and looks at Yuuri with amazement. "Do you really think…? Yuuri… Yuuri, that would make sense."

They're both out of breath, almost shaking. Yuuri stands up, not taking his eyes off Phichit for a second, especially when he remembers what he's about to do. Phichit must be thinking the same, for he gets even closer to the screen.

"Hey," he mutters, "I'll see you in a moment, right?" Phichit looks up to repress the tears from falling, but his efforts are useless.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," Yuuri whispers with a broken voice.

"I'm gonna miss you too, buddy. Take care of those books for me, will you?"

Yuuri nods and wishes so hard he could hug his best friend. He can't, but words will have to do.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

A distant doorbell rings in Phichit's end, and Yuuri vaguely recognizes it's their bookshop's. Phichit turns his head toward their back office's door and then back at Yuuri.

"You should see who it is."

"I should." But neither of them moves.

"_Is somebody there_?" someone is asking. The voice sounds familiar.

Both Phichit and Yuuri smile at each other, and they need to say no more.

"I'll see you soon," Phichit says again, and Yuuri nods.

"I can't wait for it."

And the screen turns black.

\---

Life, as it is, is nothing but a string of memories. It's a thread of blurry events where a specific one always looks clear and shiny. The date on a calendar, the colour of someone's eyes, the clothes you were wearing or the person that was holding your hand.

There are also memories that we didn't witness, but that are still kept inside our brains. There are things our parents told us because we were too young to remember, or things that our friends narrated to us because we weren't there at that specific moment. They all automatically become a memory shaped like what we think it looked like. How your grandfather sang you to sleep when you were the size of a tiny pillow. How the first word you said was your sister's name.

There's a third kind of memories: the memories that never happened and the memories that haven't happened yet. That's the power of our minds, we can fill up past events with details that never happened but that, somehow, made sense. Someone's words. A farewell that arrived too late.

As we can remember the future too, as surreal as it seems. You can remember how your life will be in ten years. Will you be married to that amazing man with eyes as blue as the sea? Will you two be aging together? There will probably be a dog. Or two.

That's precisely the kind of memories that have been haunting Yuuri the whole day non-stop. They seem to come to an end as soon as he learned that they could be true, that they could happen. Suddenly, his mind was cleared, his senses woke up and his objective was achievable. There was a solution to it.

That's what he's thinking about when he reaches the ladders that go up to the storage room with trembling hands. Not from fear, but from raw emotion. He grasps its sides with one hand, book hugged against his chest with the other, and climbs with determination.

Yura wanted to follow him when he told him. Yuuri couldn't not have told him. Yuuri couldn't not say goodbye to him, even though he knew what Yura's answer was going to be. All it took to convince him was a look at Otabek and a promise, though. Yura looked at him with a frown and angry eyes, punched him in the shoulders and then proceeded to hug him tightly. _You better make sure he's fine_, he muttered, and then released him.

Otabek nodded at Yuuri, and he disappeared beneath the trap again right after that.

Once Yuuri enters the storage room he feels that the door is staring at him, claiming him. He takes a deep breath.

"It's time to put the books to good use, huh?" he whispers to himself, and he can't avoid an ironic laugh.

Once he saw it, he couldn't stop seeing it everywhere. It's always been there. In that guy who fortuitously told Phichit where to find the books. In Noah McCan honouring them with the books —who would be, if not them—, in his greeting and expressions, in his intonation and the way he had looked at them. Almost as if he already knew them for a long time. It was in the books, too, in how much that writing on the sides of the pages reminded Yuuri of his own. In how they had the key to figure out what the angel was.

It's been in the mission, and in the spaceship, and in the space calling him. It's always been there, shouting what there was to come: a message from the past, from themselves.

Yuuri opens the door without even stopping to think about it, and when it slides to a side he is faced with the first and last augury of what there was to come: the angel. Ironically, it's going to bring him salvation.

But he's not ready yet.

There's enough distance between the angel and himself for Yuuri to leave the room without being touched, so he doesn't hesitate to step out of the room. He keeps going back, undoes the path they made not so long ago, his eyes never leaving the winged creature. There's a difference now, though: he has nothing to fear.

Not a single light flickers as Yuuri makes his way back to the habitation area. The angel follows him, it shows up in every corner as soon as Yuuri makes a turn, but it just watches him from the distance.

"Wait for me," Yuuri whispers.

He crosses the door that gives access to the habitation area and, as soon as he gets lost in its corridors, he hears how the door opens again to give entrance to the creature. Yuuri then enters their bedroom, where the books are awaiting him.

They are scattered all over the floor, just like they were left by Yuuri after his manic search of the key volume. He picks them up with no rush and places them inside one of his bigger bags, one by one, carefully.

A piece of paper falls from one of the books when he takes it, and Yuuri kneels to take a closer look at it. He can't help a smile when he realizes what it is, but simply nods and puts it inside one of his pockets. Of course, it couldn't have been any other way.

Before he closes his eyes, Yuuri takes a deep, deep breath. The last thing he hears before he feels the pull of time is the bedroom door opening.

He's ready now.

\---

Yuuri gains conscience of himself even before opening his eyes. He knows he's laying on the ground, on a hard, road-like ground. Around him there's only silence, though, he can't hear any engines nor vehicles roaming around.

It's also cold. And it's wet. He wonders if it's autumn. He wonders if there's something called autumns in whatever place he is. He tries to incorporate with his eyes closed, but a knot in his stomach that quickly turns into nausea forces him to lay down again.

Yuuri closes his hands into fists, only to stretch his fingers back and encompass his breathing with the movement. Hence and forth, until the pull of time eases the slightest enough for him to open his eyes. No one said time travel came with these consequences as well.

When he opens his eyes, though, it's almost as if he had kept them close. It's pitch dark and the only light source comes from the two moons that are crowing the sky. As his eyes get adapted to the lack of light, he sees more and more. There are thousands of stars he's only heard about in books.

He's definitely not home anymore.

Almost five minutes pass by until he feels composed enough to try to sit again. His body finally feels like his own, so he incorporates and takes a look around. He can finally see the road he's sitting at, as well as he realizes he's surrounded by a field and that city lights are shining far in the distance.

It's still too dark to be able to understand where he is, though, but his other senses are sharp enough to fill up the information he's missing, for he can make up the sound of steps getting closer to him. And he finally remembers why did he come here for.

He stands up as quickly as he can and directs his vision towards the place the steps seem to be coming from. He sees nothing at first but a figure, but as they come closer and closer to him and the only thing keeping them apart is a few meters, he can partly recognize those familiar features he was longing to see.

"Yu-Yuuri?" the person asks as they keep getting closer. Slowly, at first, a bit more hurried when they call his name for a second time. "Yuuri, is-is it you?"

Yuuri's eyes drown in tears as the initial shock fades and he can properly see Victor in the darkness. He takes a step forward as well, but Victor is already running towards him in despair.

"Victor," Yuuri whispers, voice broken. "I-"

But even before he keeps talking, Victor collides against him in a bodily hug that only makes him cry harder. Yuuri throws his arms around Victor in response and holds him tight, holds all of their pieces together.

Victor is shaking, but he keeps caressing his hair in a repetitive motion, keeps feeling his face with care.

"You shouldn't be here," he mutters against his ear once and again. "You… Yuuri, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Victor holds Yuuri as tight as Yuuri is holding him, but Yuuri lets go of him enough so he can look at his face, suddenly overwhelmed by Victor's apologies.

"You don't have to be sorry," he reverently says. "Why would you be?"

"I couldn't protect you, my Yuuri. I did my best to save all of you and, still, I couldn't." Victor closes his eyes as he speaks, all hurt and regret. Yuuri shivers, but he's not sure if it's because of the cold or because of Victor.

"Victor…" Yuuri lays a hand on top of one of his cheeks and caresses it with his thumb. Victor puts his own hand on top of Yuuri's. "I've saved myself. You were never responsible for my destiny nor my security. I… I'm here because I wanted to."

Victor suddenly opens his eyes and drops his hand.

"What-What do you mean you wanted to?" He frowns. "Did-Did you just… You're saying that you-?" Victor's eyes drown with tears and Yuuri feels that something breaks a little bit inside him. "You came here… for me?" The last words come out of Victor's mouth in a barely audible whisper, but Yuuri is so close that he hears it clearly.

Yuuri nods.

"Oh, Yuuri. My Yuuri. You-You shouldn't have… Not for me. Not-Not like this." Victor finally breaks into a sob, but Yuuri knows better.

"Hey, this is the choice I made." He presses his forehead against Victor's. "Be-Because I knew that this was the right place and time for me to be. With you." Victor falls to his knees, but Yuuri holds him tight enough that he lands on the ground softly. "It's fine. We're fine. I'm with you now."

Victor cups Yuuri's face in his hands as he lets out a teary laugh.

"I know."

"And I don't intend to leave."

"Me neither. Never."

When the moons have hidden behind the horizon and three small suns have risen, they're still sitting on the road next to each other, hands intertwined and hearts warm. There's an unknown city barely visible in the distance.

Victor points at a bag sitting a few meters away from them, right next to the place where Yuuri had arrived. Yuuri had totally forgotten about it, but he buries his hand in one of his pockets and takes out the paper he had come across earlier inside one of the books. He unfolds it and shows it to Victor with a smile.

"That's… The receipt Noah McCan gave us when we bought the books?" Victor looks confused when he looks at the bag again. "Are those the books?"

Yuuri smiles a bit wider but still nods.

"I still need to update you on a lot of things, but first I think we have a younger Noah McCan to meet. I'm sure he's going to appreciate the books and wouldn't mind selling them to some interested collectors from the Earth in the future."

Victor widens his eyes as an idea dawns upon him. His mouth falls open and Yuuri stands up and offers him a hand.

"Shall we?"

Victor unhesitantly takes it and Yuuri helps him stand. Once they're up, Yuuri grabs the bad with his free hand and they both start walking towards the city they can spot at the distance.

They have a long road to walk, but they're more alive than ever and, above all, they're together.

This is only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo friends :_____ I'm pretty emotional because I've managed to finish and post this, I hope that you've enjoyed this ride and are left with a warm heart. I'm really really thankful to every reader, and I'm so insistent with this because I want you to know how much I appreciate your support!
> 
> *time to get more emotional* This story has been in my head since the summer of 2017. The original idea was heavily inspired by blackbird (READ [BLACKBIRD](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9651944/chapters/21806939)) and it was much darker and sad (that wasn't the best moment in my life asjdfhg), and after more than two years of it being in my head, it finally turned into something I've really enjoyed writing and developing (although totally different). Also, Rilke's poem was a huge inspiration as well, that's why I wanted to include so badly. If you read it now it'll probably feel somehow closer and kind of related to the story!
> 
> My shoutouts go to: all my friends who have heard my ramblings (especially ly, ly tq illa, and the chaos server), my brother (who jokingly told me the action should take place in the space if I didn't want police to be involved and I took it seriously), [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQPdzHVakyM) and of course all the people who have read, kudoed, commented, bookmarked... All my love for you!
> 
> To wrap this up: I'm thinking about writing an epilogue. It's somehow planned, but not written at all, so I'll make no promises, this is just info for you (I'll be adding it to this fic in any case, so if I post it it'll show up here as the sixth chapter). I'll aso be uploading an exchange fic on the 29th here, in case you miss me :D 
> 
> After all this rambling and my constant thank yous, I'll drop here my [tumblr](http://owlishann.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/owlishann) links, and yay, I'm done! Bye <3


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